It is New Years Day 2015 and my goal for 2015 is to resume my gratitude journal. I already know that some of my depression (perhaps an undiagnosed bipolar condition) will sneak into these posts, but I feel like that may be okay. In order to be grateful for things, I need to recognize what is making me depressed. Today I am grateful for 2014. It was a year of good health - both mine and my family's. We are very blessed to have a year with no serious health conditions. both Leon and I have had co-workers with serious health conditions that they are dealing with. I have a co-worker whose husband was diagnosed with multiple myloma in 2012. He went through a bone marrow transplant as well as chemo. He was pretty healthy in 2014, but now is facing a possible recurrance of this terrible disease. They will be doing some testing in the next few weeks. My prayers go out to them for good news from the doctors. Leon also has a coworker facing serious health issues. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. He went through surgeries and treatment and thought he had it under control. In the last 6 months the cancer has come back with a vengence. He is young with 3 young children. He is under hospice care. We are praying for a miracle! We have many, many other community people who have or died from very serious health conditions. So, today I am eternally grateful to God for the good health in our family. You just never know when something can happen!

What a whirlwind couple of days we have had. Denver and Danielle have been waiting to adopt a baby for what seems like a long time. Yesterday that baby arrived. He will be released from the hospital into their hands tomorrow morning. I have to admit I cried. The tears were happy tears for Denver and Danielle. I am so incredibly happy for them. The tears were aso tears of love and appreciation for a woman I don't know. A woman who is giving up a baby that she carried for 9 months. What a selfless wonderful thing for her to do. Our new grandson's name is Kellen David Wayne Kruse. Denver and Danielle are also building a new house. The house is done, they are just waiting for the basement to be completed so they can move the house on to the foundation. I am so excited to see it. I have seen pictures, but that is all. We will be heading up to see them in a couple of days. HOpefully we will get to hold the baby and see the hole in the ground where the house is going to be placed. More excitement!!!

Boy, I a horrible child! Dad died July 2000. Since he was pretty much the decision maker in the family, I kind of felt obligated to help Mom. I tried to slow down her decision making when it came to major decisions - she is definatly a snap decision maker, and it isn't always good. And maybe I feel even more protective because I feel like Ed talks her into making bad decisions. Well, apparently she is offended by my help. Well, at least what I thought was my help. She interpeted it as I was trying to run her life - as disrespectful to her and her abilities. Hummm, as I step back and look at this from afar, she might be right. I could have and should have been much more diplomatic. It is just that every time she decided to do something, it backfired and I ended up cleaning up the pieces. It was very selfish of me, but I was feeling frustrated that I had to deal with these things. Example - first "they" bought a pull type camper and of course a pickup to pull it. They could not use it - it was too much for them to put it up and take it down, etc. I had to deal with Mom and what to do with this camper. In the end they traded the camper for a boat! A boat of all things. They thought it would be easier to sell a boat than a camper that was very cumbersome to use. Well, that was late last summer and they still have the boat. Then they bought a motor home. The motor home ended up being a piece of crap! Now Mom was entirely upset about the motor home. I guess I was upset because in all of these cases I feel like she got "taken" even with or maybe because of Ed's help. They did spend an arm and a leg to get the motor home fixed and intend to drive it out to Vegas to see my brother. Neither one of them are very good drivers, and it is a lot different driving a motor home than it is a car. I am just very, very worried about her and her decision making. I don't worry because I want to inherit any of the little bit of money she has. I am worried that she is not going to have any money left to take care of herself in a couple of years. I feel bad that she is so offended. I am done trying to protect her. I don't want to be any more upset with me than she already is. I guess she is just going to have to deal with what ever happens. I guess I am too. I have 3 brothers that should be helping me and backing me up, but they don't want any part of it. Well, enough for tonight. I just have to let go of this and not worry.

Mother Nature is such a tease! The past couple of days have been so nice. Yesterday it was up to 71. We dug out the patio furniture, picked up sticks in the lawn and just enjoyed being out in the sun! Today it is about 31 and there are a few snow flakes in the air. Oh well, a good day to be in the house getting some things done. It has been such a busy couple of weeks I haven't gotten much housework done. This past week I was only home one night. I went to a seminar on "Pioneer Women in Southwest Minnesota" on Tuesday, Wednesday was Lenten Service, Thursday a meeting, Friday "Prairie Music" concert and last night was the George Washington banquet at the lodge. today is Travis' birthday so after church we all went out for lunch at the Hub (yum, yum). This afternoon I need to get organized for a meeting I have to go to in Sioux Falls tomorrow. Not especially thrilled to go that far for a meeting, but it is part of my job. this next week will be busy as well. I need to get the house cleaned and some food made for Easter. I have both sides coming over. My side is coming over for lunch after church and Leon's side for supper. I decided that if I was going to go through all the work of cleaning the house that well and making food, I might as well have both sides over. Well, off to get some more cleaning done!

Am I really getting that old? Geez some little stuff at work is starting to bug the heck out of me! The tellers don't hang their coats on the coat tree, they shove them under their teller windows. So? It should not matter to me as long as the customers cant see them. But it bugs me. I don't say anything because it isn't a big deal, but it bugs me. I tind myself getting very annoyed, very easily. Am I just getting old? J never used to get annoyed by such little things. Maybe it is just that I have been working at the bank for over 30 years. Maybe injustice need to do something different. I am not sure what else I would do. . . Or maybe I just haven't spent enough time recharging at home. I have been gone nearly every evening at meetings and such as well as most weekend days. It is all good community stuff - like we (the community band) played during the Coaches. Vs Cancer basketball game, we went to the chamber of commerce annual banquet to represent the bank, went to a bridal shower, and then there is Lenten services, Hospice Banquet and lots of other stuff. I guess I have also been stressing myself out a bout a few things at work too. I had to do a presentation on retirement plans to a group last Friday and today I had to go to Sioux Falls to do my proctor testing. Maybe now that both of those things are done, I won't feel so annoyed all the time. Maybe. . . . .

What a difference a week makes. The past couple of days have been warm and mostly sunny. And a few people have even seen robins!!!! A lot of the snow has melted and you can see grass. It is wonderful!! It is also very appropriate since we are going into the lenten season. I have also come down with a nasty cold. I cough all night long and blow my nose constantly. I hope am over this soon. I am so tired when I get home, all I want to do is sleep. I think I will take a nap now.

Windy and snowy and cold - oh my! Yes, winter in Minnesota. I am so tired of winter. Spring just can't come fast enough. I really do like winter, but this winter has been exceptionally long and cold. In fact, the weather broadcast the other night said it has been the 4th coldest winter on record. Not just here, but across most of the United States. The best part of most winters is that it makes me appreciate spring that much more. Anyway, because of the blustery day, I didn't leave the house. I slept in till 7:30 and putzed around the house. I thought about not even getting out of my pajamas, but I would have been so embarassed if someone would have stopped. I didn't do too much cleaning, because Denver and Danielle are bringing the dogs for a few days. They are going down to Florida to Twins training camp for a few days and I said we would watch Rocky and Pearl. Rocky sheds so bad! Pearl is part pug so she doesn't shed much, but Rocky makes up for both of them. when they come and get the dogs I will do some cleaning - serious cleaning. I feel bad that we watch Randi and Travis's kids all the time, but we don't have a chance to do much for Denver and Danielle. This is one small thing I can do for them. I love the dogs, but not too excited about getting up early to let them out to go potty and taking them on a walk in this cold weather. Oh well, it is only for 4 or 5 days so it isn't so bad.