It's another winter day in Minnesota. Right now it is relatively warm outside. The sun was shining all day and there wasn't much for wind. Love it. We went up to the Family Fair at school for awhile and watched Logan's preschool class do some songs and finger plays. It was very cute. And Logan did a good job of doing the singing and actions when he was suppose to. On Thursday Lauren is going to a little Rebels cheerleading camp. Then on Friday night at halftime of the varsity basketball game they are going to perform. I am so glad that Randi and Travis live close enough that we can attend the kids programs and such. Now tomorrow is going to be a different story. We are currently under a blizzard warning for tomorrow. We are predicted to get 2 to 4 inches of snow and 35 to 55 mile per hour winds. Lovely!!!! I guess I will just hunker down in my sewing room and do some more quilting. I have a quilt and a baby blanket to get done. I usually have a few baby blankets made up so when someone around here has a baby, I have something ready. Ya, and then it is back to work on Monday . . . . Why do the weekends go so quickly?

Okay so maybe this whole stress in my life is because I am a control freak. Maybe I stress more because I can't control the outcome of certain situations. Or because the outcome of certain situations are unknown. I don't stress when I know what is going on and know the outcome. You know I really don't want to control situations,w I think I stress becase I don't kn ow how things are going to turn out. I also go back to my assumption that I don't. Have enough faith. I have "dinky" faith. If I had enough faith I would know that God is taking care of all of this for me. So more prayer and a little Zoloft. That is the answer.

Why does everything happen at once? First the car starts acting up. the gages on the dashboard are all screwed up. The gas gage shows full one time and 1/2 empty the next time you start it. Then the heat gage started acting up. The gage will show the car is hot one time and cold 5 minutes later. At least the car still works. Next the pickup starts acting up. the heater fan only works once in awhile. And once in awhile the lights don't work! Next, our sewer system decides to give us fits. It backed up into the room with our freezer. YUCK!!!!! And to top it off, the furnace is not fixed yet either. I just feel like everything in my life is falling apart right now. Fast forward to work this week. My boss was over on Thursday and met with me for over an hour. Once again they want me to change the direction of my job. This time I am really not happy with where things are going. They want me to move to a different office and everything. this all is just too much for my poor brain to handle right now. I have gone back to not sleeping at night and having anxiety attacks during the day. I am a mess! I just hope the next few weeks things will work themselves out so I can sleep at night.

The after holiday blues have set in. After all the excitement of Christmas and New Years, it is back to a blah routine of work. Oh well, I guess you have to have the blah routine to make the holidays more fun. But was it hard to go back to work today! I just didn't want to go to work today. I think part of it was the the post holiday blahs and part of it was the weather. I woke up this morning to -45 wind chills. Burrrr. Governor Dayton had called off school in all of Minnesota. That is the first time since about 1997 that that has happened. and on top of the weather, the furnace isn't working correctly. I came home at noon and again tonight and it was 57 in the house. I had to go down both times and hit the reset button to get the furnace to kick in. I hope my husband called the repair man! Or I may wake up to ice sicles on my nose tomorrow morning. Tonight should be quiet around the house though. A chance to rest and relax. Just gotta keep the furnace going.

Well, after a busy but wonderful Christms, I am relaxing for a bit. The little ones loved their gifts. I made each of them a cowboy outfit. Logan got chaps and a fringed vest. The girls got skirts and fringed vests. The big kids seemed to really like their gifts. I spent today cleaning. It was a nice change - stress free go at my own pace. My next project is back to the sewing machine. This time I will be quilting. I love quilting. It is relaxing and yet alows me to be creative. When I retire, that is what I will spend a lot of time doing. Quilting and gardening. I have spent a lot of time thinking about retirement lately. I don 't want to wish time away, but I do have a plan. A 5 year plan! In 5 years the house will be paid off, Leon will be old enough for social security and Medicare and I will be old enough to get social security. I will not be old enough for Medicare yet, so that may be the bad part. I will have to check out some sort of insurance to Cary me over. Well, back to cleaning!

Earlier this past week I was feeling a little frazzled. It has been crazy busy at work and I was not near ready for Christmas. I had lots of gifts yet to buy and wrap, Christmas Cards/letters to get out, groceries to buy, meals to plan and a couple of outfits to make for the grandchildren. I was overwhelmed to the point that I was not sleeping at night. I am happy to say that the gifts have been purchased and wrapped. Leon and I went to Sious Falls and got most of what we had on our list. Sioux Falls was hectic as we expected, but we managed to find nearly everything. The Christmas cards are finished and in the mail. Most of the meals have been planned. I will get groceries after work tomorrow. so, now all is well with the world. I am feeling much calmer right now. A good glass of wine helps with that as well. And now it is time to enjoy Christmas. Think about the true spirit of Christmas - the reason for the season. I want to find things I can do to help others - kind of a "pay it forward" thing. That is my goal tonight. To figure out what I can do for others to help in some way. I already have done a few things - i gave a bag of food to the food shelf, bought lots of toys for the local Christmas Project (they give toys to the people in the are who have children and can't afford to buy them Christmas gifts. I also have made contributions to Salvation Army and other worthy charities. That isn't exactly what I am trying to do though. I want to do something meaningful for someone else. Something they can't do for themself. And they can't know that it was me who helped them out. I will think of something. My hope for everyone is to slow down and enjoy Christmas. Enjoy time with family and friends. It doesn't have to involve gifts. Just being together and enjoy the season. Blessings to everyone!!!!!

Well, I am officially at the end of my vacation time. I got a lot done on those days off. Almost everything on my list was completed. I also had a lot of time to think. Amazingly I had an epiphany! It did not happen because of church or anything like that. It was because of an episode of "The Doctors" and a Halmark Christmas movie. The episode of "the Doctors" was all about menopause. While I always knew what menopause could do to a woman's body, it never occured to me that what was going on with me had that much to do with menopause. The almost bi-polar mood swings, the desire to cry without reason, the weight gain, the inability to deal with some things and all the rest. All of a sudden it became clear. It has everything to do with my hysterectomy! Okay, now that I know the issue, I can deal with this. So what does the Halmark Christmas move have to do with this? It was about a situation that I thought I knew how I would react to. As the movie went on, I started to question myself. It became clear that I have a long way to go to become the person that I want to be. It also gave me the path to follow to become that person. All is well with the world. On another note, we were able to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family and my husband's family. Both occations were very nice and I am thankful that we all had this time together. We all enjoy each other's company and had a great time. I had a whole different perspective this year. Loved it. And now - back to work tomorrow. I am thankful to have a job, but not too excited to go back at this point. I just enoyed my vacation too much.