More Winter

Right now I am sitting here alone. Leon is at the basketball game and I am waiting for the Texas family to get here. It seems their was a problem with their luggage. they are waiting for the next flight to see if the luggage was on that flight. Then they will be here. The roads are getting slick so I am worried about their drive from Sioux Falls. The thing is, the weather is suppose to be even worse tomorrow. We are under a blizzard warning for tomorrow. I guess I will just feel better when they get here.

The time alone has given me time to do a lot of thinking though. Thinking about my New Year's resolutions. There are a lot of things out there again . . . . 1. I want to lose 50 pounds 2. I want to be a better person - better wife, mother, friend, co-worker 3. I want to be more content with where I am in life. These are all resolutions I make nearly every year. But this year I want there to be more to it than just a resolution. I want to succeed at all of them. The only way to succeed, I think, is be more faithful. I guess I am a person of "dinky faith" as they say. If I had more faith I wouldn't have to worry about my success in these areas. I would just know it would be fine because of my faith. I am wondering where god wants me to be though. What does he have in mind for me? I am having trouble see the vision.

Christmas Joy

What a wonderful Christmas!!!! We had all of the kids here for Christmas Eve. We went to the early service at church and then came home to a delicious supper. After everything was cleaned up we let the little ones open their presents. It was so fun to see them react to each present. After they went to bed, the adults fixed a few drinks and opened their presents. I hope everyone liked the gifts we gave them. I know I loved the gifts I got. But the best gifts we got were not the ones we unwrapped. It was having everyone together. . . . . . and their news. Danielle told us she got a different job. The job is still with Daktronics, but it doesn't involve traveling. At least not much. I am so happy for her and Denver. Then Travis and Randi told us they are moving back to Minnesota. We were thrilled to know that by next summer they would probably living within 30 minutes of us again. It was the best Christmas ever!

Ready for Christmas

Well, we finally got out of town Christmas shopping yesterday. We headed for Sioux Falls. We went to as many stores on the east side of town as we could. Traffic was tolerable and there were very short lines at the check out. Then we headed to Empire Mall area. Our original plan was to go to the food court for lunch. As we got closer to that area we changed our minds. It took 2 or 3 green lights to get through intersections. It could have been a nightmare, but we found ways to laugh about it. Leon didn't even get crabby about it!!!!!! We got to the stores on the west side that we needed to get to and decided to eat on the way home. After we got home I found out on the news that there had been a flash mob at the food court that sang the Halleluiah Chorus!. I am so mad that I missed that. But I guess who know if we would have been there at the exact time they broke out in song or not. Anyway. . . . we got the things we went for and made it home by 5:30. Today I got the last of the gifts wrapped and everything cleaned up. The bedrooms upstairs are cleaned and ready to go. All I have left to do some last minute cleaning and cooking. All is well and Kruse family is ready - Merry Christmas!!!!

Winter

It has been a few interesting days weather wise. I was so excited last week thinking we were going to finish our Christmas shopping last Saturday. Well, Friday night it started raining before I left work. Thru the night the weather got worse - the rain turned to snow. We got at least 10 inches of snow and 40 - 50 mile an hour winds. I was scheduled to work on Saturday morning and it didn't look too bad so I took off for the bank. I got stuck on main street. . . . . on main street! I got myself out and continued on to the bank. The tellers got there too, but it wasn't pretty. By 10:00 we closed and went home. I followed one of the other girls home - she had a 4 wheel drive Suburban. If I hadn't been following in her tracks, I wouldn't have made it. Needless to say we did not make to Sioux Falls shopping (I didn't even leave the house). I was very depressed. The past 2 days the weather has improved, but we are supposed to get more snow tonight. Yipes! I really need to get out of town shopping. I only have 5 things left to get, but I can't get them here in town.

Christmas is Coming

Well, I am starting to relax tonight. The last week has been a blurrrrrrr of events. My big meeting is done. Got that out of the way last week. My VIP Club Christmas trip is done and it was a big success. The Fireman's Christmas party is over. Normally I would not be stressed by that, but Leon was on the committee and the other 3 committee people were no help. So by default I helped him get things together. The Community Band Christmas Concert is over. Last year at the concert I fell and broke my arm. I didn't fall this year, so all is well. I had the day off yesterday and got a lot of stuff done. Got my Christmas cards made, got the tree and decorations out and did a little Christmas shopping. It was just a nice relaxing day. Today was the last event - our office Christmas OPen House. I am exhausted, but it was a total success. Now I can enjoy the rest of the Holiday season. Sunday Leon and I are going to Sioux Falls to finish our Christmas shopping. It will be busy there, but we can do it together and we really don't have that much to get. Then all that will be left is to wrap the gifts. YIPEEEEE

Been Awhile

Wow it has been quite awhile since I last posted anything. It has been a very busy time I guess. First we had Thanksgiving. We all went to my mom's for lunch. My brother Les and his wife were there and my brother Chuck and his family were there. We had a good time together. Too bad Kelly and the girls couldn't be there. Of course we ate too much, but that didn't stop me. We went to Millie's apartment to the community room for supper. There were about 25 of us that got together. Once again soups were the main menu. Very tasty and lots of fun. Since then I have been busy nearly every week night. Between band practice, work, church meetings, etc it just seemed like there was no time for anything extra. This weekend has been the busiest though. Thursday night we went to Rachel's play. They did Okalahoma this year and it was fabulous. Friday night we spent at the fire hall decorating and getting everything ready for the fireman's Christmas party. Saturday during the day I had a VIP trip. Then Saturday night the fireman's Christmas party. This morning of course was church and tonight is our community band Christmas Concert and party afterward. In between I have been trying to get caught up on laundry. I haven't really felt very well this past week either. I have a chest cold so I spend a lot of time coughing - especially at night when I am trying to sleep. I am so tired of sucking on cough drops I could throw up. Maybe after tonight when things slow down I can rest more and get rid of this cold. Yipes. Oh wait, I need to get going on my Christmas shopping. I have a few things purchased, but have a lot left to get. I guess I won't have a lot time to rest.

No news is good news?????

Well, it has been another whole week and still no news. Hummm. What is going on? The longer this goes, the more angry I feel. I just don't understand!!!!!. The week did go fast however. I like being busy. I guess it is just all the politics I hate. Yesterday was a fun day. I went to Fulda with a friend and we spent a couple of hours at the big craft show. I didn't buy anything, but it was fun. Then we decided to go to Worthington to do a little shopping. I got a few things, but mostly some groceries for Thanksgiving. Wow, Thanksgiving is coming very quickly. Both kids and their families are coming home so I am super excited about that. We haven't all been together since Kruse-a-palooza! The next few days will be spent cleaning, and making food. I like to have extra things on hand for everyone. Today we woke up to freezing rain. It was super slippery going to church. I nearly slid through a stop sign! But since we got home we haven't left the house. Just watching the Vikings game. And isn't that frustrating! We are behind by 21 points in the 3rd quarter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might have to change the channel. I just can't handle this.

No News

Well, I waited al day Friday for any news on my job - nothing. I left work not knowing any more that I did 2 weeks ago. What the heck is going on. YOu know, even if they were going to make changes to my job, why did they have to tell me there would be changes, and then take forever to tell me what the changes are going to be.

Last night was very fun though. We had a little mini-kruse-a-palooza. We went to the bowling alley here in town. First we all had their hamberger special - yummmmmmm!!!! Then we had a great time with a few beers and a lot of bowling. I didn't bowl very well, but we laughed until we cried. When we got done, everyone came back here for a few more beers and some snacks that I had ready.

Today I woke up to blowing snow. Yup - the first snow of the season. Only a couple of inches, but the ground is white. I spent the day indoors, cleaning, doing laundry, and stuff like that. I always feel better when the house is clean and orderly. My big accomplishment of the day though, is that I got my resume done. I am not going to send it out to anyone yet, but if things don't change at work soon, I may start. I just want to be ready.

A lot thinking

You know, I still don't know what is wrong with me. I have spent many hours trying to figure things out. Today was a little better though. At least I wasn't in melt down mode all day. I was able to finish my projects and get things done. Still not happy inside though. I didn't cry all day, but I could feel the demon called depression heavy on my heart. It rained all day so that may have been part of the depression thing . . . . . . . Tomorrow my boss will be in meetings with senior management all day. I am guessing they will have an opportunity to "discuss" what ever changes they are considering for my job. I am hoping that some news will come my way on Friday then. I really need to know what they have in mind. The not knowing is so hard and so unfair.

What is wrong with me

I just don't know. . . . . . since this whole thing started at work, I feel like I am falling apart. I can't stay focused, I can't sleep, I can't even think straight. It is just not fair that everyone around me can get what they want. I am so full of resentment, frustration and negative feelings right now. I thought I was a stronger person than this. I want to be happy and have fun. Why can't I????

Welll, a week has passed and I still don't know any more about my job. Nobody is willing or able to tell me what is going to happen with my job. I think it is pretty inconsiderate of them to tell me my job is changing and then just leave me hanging for weeks and weeks about what it is changing to. I think I will feel better when I at least know what is going on.

It has been a nice weekend. Friday night we went out for supper with friends. We always have a good time when we go out. Lots of laughing and story telling. It is a nice way to end a work week. I had to work Saturday morning, but I got caught up on a lot of things. It sure will make life easier this coming work week. But the best part is that we met Denver and Danielle at Dar's Pizza last night for supper. We have only seen them once since Kruse-a-palooza. Dactronics has kept Danielle on the road so much that Denver doesn't even get to see much of her. This time, she got home on Friday night, and now she has to fly out again this afternoon. Hardly home 48 hours. I would hate being gone so much! Today I will have some nice free time after church. Time to watch the Vikings game and work on the quilt. Nice theapy time before another busy work week.

I Tried

I tried to make it through the week. I really did try. But yesterday I lost it. I tried to stay in my office as much as I could, but it didn't work very well. I had such a hard time maintaining my composure. I am not really sure why. I know it has a lot to do with the amount of stress in my life right now. I could see the tellers out there whispering and looking my direction. I know they were whispering about me. I guess I was having a pity party for myself. Just plain feeling sorry for myself. I didn't talk to anyone about it though. I have to wrestle with some internal demons and figure out if I am just imagining it, or if management reeally is taking advantage of me. I don't want to say anything until I get it all worked out in my head. Anyway, by the end of the day I asked the branch president if I could have some time off. He said it would be fine. He wondered what I was upset about. I just couldn't talk to him about it yet. I hope by Monday when I go back, things will be better and I can visit with him for a few minutes. In the mean time I have had a good day so far. I have cleaned and done laundry and worked a lot on the quilt. All very theraputic for me. Tomorrow I am going to finish cleaning and then it is girls weekend. We are heading for Sioux Falls for some "retail therapy". I know I will feel better after that!!!!!

Another Weekend

It is just unbelievable to me just how quickly a weekend can go by. I think it is mostly because the past week was so extremely stressful. Logan had another acute asthma attack and ended up back at the doctor. Lat time the doctor sent him home with a nebulizor. This time he not only has to use the neb 4 times a day, but now they have to put steroids in the neb 2 times a day. Poor little thing. I so remember those days with Denver. Only back then, you had to go to the hospital for the neb treatments. I sure hope he grows out of it. I wish I lived closer so I could be there to help.

It was pretty stressful at work too. I guess my job is going to be changing. That is what management tells me anyway. In order for that to happen, somthing has to come off of my plate. The things they are talking about taking off of my plate are pretty controversial. At least that is what they tell me. Nobody will take on those duties. My questions is, since when do they have a choice. For me it has always been that you do what they tell you to. I did not know you could refuse to do something. Anyway, now they are trying to figure out what to do with these duties. I feel like I am being blamed for this by my co-workers. I did not ask to have my job changed, I was just told. And actually when I talked to one of the senior management team, I asked if I could know what was going on. He said they were not prepared to tell me yet. I asked if I could be in on the "discussion" about it. He said he didn't even know that. Hummmmmmmm

I just feel like every aspect of my life is in flux right now. I sure hope that this week things will work themselves out. I am leaving it all in God's hands right now. That is all I can do!

the Big Dig

this past weekend is the time I had set for the big dig. My perennial garden had not had much attention since I planted it 8 - 10 years ago. The grasses and weeds were starting to over run the entire garden. So after lunch on Saturday I started. I dug up all of the perennials and put them on a tarp. I had hoped for about 50 degree weather, but it was in the 80's. The sweat was running off of me. On top of the sweat, those little tiney black bugs were out. After 4 1/2 hours I had everything out. Then all of the ground got spaded over. That was enough for one day! Besides which, we wanted to stop and watch the Twins. We lit the fire pit and turned the TV so we could see it from the fire pit. Needless to say, the Twins did NOT look good. They lost and are now out of the World series hunt. Sunday afternoon it was back to the perennial garden. Leon tilled it for me and then I started putting things back. I broke up the clumps of perennials and put just some of everything back. It looks great again. And even better a friend came and took all the left overs. I hope she enjoys the plants.

Today, it was back to reality - work. When I got there I could not get into 2 of the main programs I use all day. Soon I also realized the phones were not working. Yipes! What a start to the week. Because it was Columbus Day we were not very busy. I think people thought we would be closed. We may pay for that tomorrow. Wednesday I head to Springfield to do training. I hope that goes well. It could be a looooooong week!

A Big Week

I sure has been a productive week. Monday night we came home from Michigan. I was very sad as always, but it was good to get home. Except that we came home to a wet basement. When we left the prior Thursday morning it was pouring rain. It had actually rained all night long. By the time we left we had gotten over 5 inches. But, the basement was dry and the city crew had beenout and started pumping the manholes. We thought we were home free so we left for MIchigan. It took us 6 hours to drive out of the rain. by the time we got to Michigan I had contacted a friend and they checked the basement. Bless their hearts, they found out it was wet so they went and got a shop vac and got it all dried out. But when we got home on Monday night, it smelled very musty in the house. Tuesday, after a very hectic day at work, I went and rented a carpet shampooer. I spent 3 hours shampooing, but it smelled a lot better when I was done. The rest of the work week was spent catching up from being gone, training a new employee in Fulda, and getting yet another project completed. Friday night we went to the Homecoming Game here in town. I don't know many of the kids out there anymore, but it is still fun to be at high school sporting events. Saturday morning I worked. That is okay. I always get a lot of catch up work done on Saturday mornings. This particular Saturday morning was very very busy so I helped the tellers, but I still got a lot of stuff done. Saturday afternoon we worked in the yard. We got the vegetable garden totally cleaned out and the remains taken out to the tree dump. They have a compost pile out there that you can put garden waste in. It was kind of sad that the garden is done, because I love to be able to run out to the garden and get things for a meal. ON the other hand I am tired of canning salsa, tomatoes, and green beans and dicing onion and peppers. Today I spent putzing and cleaning. I did a lot of cleaning I have not had a chance to do the last few weeks. I dusted, scrubbed floors, cleaned bathrooms, etc. I feel like I have gotten a lot done! It is a really good feeling. Now, tomorrow is Monday so I have to get ready to do it all again.

Stressful Week

This is such a stressful time for me. One of the big projects we are working on right now is strategic planning for next year. This project is so hard on me. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders during this time. This year is extra hard as they have added a few new catagories to the project. This is also the time of year when they do our performance reviews. I just wish they would do mine. I have heard a couple of comments about my review and it makes me nervous. I don't think there is much more I could have done this past year. I practically lived at the office, especially the first 3 -4 months after the merger. Next we have the fact that I have a ton of account type things to work on! Probably the most I hve ever had to do in one week. That being said, we are going to have one employee gone today and one on Thursday. Yipes!!!! And my last stress for this week is the fact that for some reason they feel the need to do an assessment of how well I know my job. Sometime this week I need to take a test (51 questions) that will gauge how much I know. I am not sure where this is coming from. They don't do a teller assessment or anything - only the FSR's. Can't figure that out. Well, I want to get to the office early so I better get going.

HOliday Weekend

It has been a very quiet holiday weekend! I worked Saturday morning, but that is okay. I got a lot of things done. I got one big project completed and got a lot done on another. Spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning house. It really needed it too. I had not had a chance to clean for a couple of weeks. The floors were really dirty and so was the bathroom. Saturday evening we spent on the patio. The weather was perfect. A nice night to just enjoy the end of a Minnesota summer.

Yesterday we took Millie to church. It didn't go too bad. She got around better than I thought she would. After lunch I spent time working in the gardens. PIcked tomatoes and beans. There were actually enough beans to can another batch. I think I have canned 60 - 70 pints of beans so far! NO MORE!!!!!! I also refuse to can any more tomaotes. What ever we pick from now until the first freeze is only for fresh eating. Last night we spent on the patio again. The weather was perfect, but the bugs drove me in around 9:00.

Today was cool and it rained off and on all day. Since I couldn't be outside, I spent the day with my sewing machine working on the wedding quilt. I was nice to cacoon myself in my sewing room. I kind of feel relaxed and refreshed. But on the other hand, I haven't had any outside contact with people so I feel lonesome.

Well, I suppose I better get some stuff done to be ready to go back to work tomorrow. I need to get my outfit picked out and pressed, some laundry done and some snack foods picked out. Not really looking forward to going back to work. It is going to be really wild. We are always busy on the day after a Monday holiday. Put that together with having 2 employees gone - let's just say it has potential for a very long day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, today is the last day of the county fair. That is always a relief for me. We always have so much to do for the fair that we don't get to enjoy it too much. Leon is at the races with the fire truck so I am home by myself. I don't mind though. I enjoy being home alone sometimes. I get to do what I want and watch whatever I want on TV. I have enough to keep me busy that is for sure. I have the bathrooms cleaned and floors scrubbed. I have one more load of laundry to do and a report to do for work. Then I am going to enjoy some time on the patio.

Thursday night Randi, Travis and the kids are coming home. Yay! I haven't seen them since Kruse-a-palooza. They are only staying a couple of days, but at least I will be able to see them. Then the end of September we are going to head out there the kid's birthdays. I am really looking forward to that!!!!!! It will be nice to get away from work and actually relax. Between now and then I have a ton of stuff to get done at work though. I have 2 big projects that need to be done - one by the end of the month and one by September 12th.

Well, I have a date with a mojito!!!!!

I need some sleep!

Well, as good as it was to be on vacation, it is now back to the real world. The last couple of weeks since vacation was over has been incredibly busy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why, but at work it is like the dam burst. The customers are coming out of the woodwork! I just can't get caught up! And there are a couple of other things going on as well. It is incredibly busy at home as well. The yard needs tending to, the cleaning needs to be done, I need to get beans canned, and I seem to have meetings all the time. That feeling of drowning is coming back. I didn't sleep last night. This seems to happen every time I feel too stressed. I took a "Simply Sleep" a few minutes ago so I hope I can sleep tonight. I think after next week I will feel better. Some of the issues I have at work should be worked out by then. I sure hope so anyway. Our parade season and the county fair should be over as well. I just need some down time. Some time to spend with a cocktail out on the patio. I spent a few minutes out there last Saturday, but it wasn't nearly enough. Maybe I will have to invite friends over and have a bonfire on Saturday. Maybe that will help "the altitude of my attitude".

Kruse-a-palooza 2010

Well, another edition of Kruse-a-palooza is in the books. Starting with the wedding which was incredibly fun!!!!!! Everything was perfect!!!! The rest of the week was a lot of fun as well. At least I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. Lots of good food, beer, fun things to do, and most importantly getting to see all the people I love. Even though I had a ton of fun, it is nice to have my house back. Curt and Andrew stayed and spent the morning helping us take down the tent, put things away, clean the house and all the stuff that goes with the after math of Kruse-a-palooza. I took us about 2 1/2 hours to do what it normally takes us 2 days to do. I am now very lonesome. It is very quiet around here. I miss everyone so much. I am not really looking forward to going back to work on Monday either.

Wedding

Well, last weekend was all about the engagement party. The weatherman said we could have rain, so we set everything up in the garage. Boy was it a good thing we did. We had 2 inches of rain during the time of the party. It was a very nice party, but we didn't get to do a lot of the things we wanted to. We didn't get to do the fire pit or bean bag toss or anything like that.

And now on to the wedding. I work the rest of this week and then I am off for 2 weeks!!!!! Next week will be all about the wedding. Getting food ready, working on the quilt, helping get Danielle's sister's yard set up with tables and tents, etc. I am so anxious for this wedding to happen. It is going to be fun, fun, fun.

And then it will be all about Kruse-a-palooza! Getting bedding ready, figuring out sleeping arangements, stocking up on food. Figuring out what we are going to be doing every day. Whew, I am tired just thinking about all this. But it is going to be soooooooo fun!

Busy Days

Well, another busy weekend just went by. I had to work on Saturday. I don't really mind working Saturdays. Since the lobby isn't open, I can get a lot of stuff done. I got almost caught up on a lot of little things that have been sitting on my desk. Then Saturday afternoon we got started cleaning and doing laundry. I did my weekly cleaning around the house and weeded a little bit in the gardens. Saturday night we had some friends over and lit the fire pit. That was very nice. It felt good to relax and laugh a lot. Sunday was the power day. We cleaned the garage for the the engagement party. Put everything away, threw a lot of stuff, and scrubbed down the work bench and floor. Once that was done, we started the patio. We put up a ceiling fan out there that Randi and Travis gave us and then put rope lights up around the ceiling. It was also Father's Day so Denver came to visit and bring Leon his gift. He stayed for supper too so that was very nice. The only down side was that Danielle couldn't come. She was on call and had to stay in Brookings. Monday was a continuation of the cleaning blitz. All the little things that we don't mind living with, but you know you need to do if you are going to have company. Last night was band practice. It was so hot that the sweat was just running down my back. Tonight will be another night of preparations. Probably mowing, spraying the lawn and patio for mosquitoes and more weeding. Thursday is our concert. Then Friday Leon will have his regular treck to the races with the fire truck. Saturday we have a parade in Pipestone in the morning, then the party is Saturday night. Yipes. So much to do, so little time before the party starts. I better get busy.

Life

I guess things are moving right along with the wedding plans. Danielle has kept me up to speed on what is going on so I do feel a little better about things. I still don't feel like I am doing enough though. I suppose when it gets closer to the date I will be working my tail off.

We went to Sioux Falls yesterday and I tried to find shoes to go with my dress. I couldn't find what I really wanted. I wanted navy shoes, but I settled for silver. They were cheap enough, and that is good, but they have spike type heals and that is not going to be good when walking on the lawn. We also got a few things for the engagement party and a few other things we can't get around here.

Today it was back to work. It wasn't a terrible day, but still busy. One of these days I will get caught up! It was a cool, dreary, rainy day - AGAIN!!!! We have had several of those days right in a row again. I am tired of this. I NEED SUN!!!!!

A Rainy Day

Hummm - another rainy day. I don't mind. At least all of my gardens are getting watered. That is a great thing! But, it also means that the weeds will start growing again!!!!!! :( I just hope the rain quits by tomorrow. A couple of friends and I are going shopping for my "mother of the groom" dress and the fabric for the quilt. It will be fun to go shopping with friends. We haven't done that for quite a long time. I also really need to find this dress. I only have a month before the wedding. I am not totally sure what is going on with the wedding plans. Danielle has told me a few things, but I don't feel like I am doing enough to help.

You know, I am sitting here thinking what a long week it has been. We had Monday off, but that just means that the rest of the week is really hectic. AND IT WAS! I spent Tuesday getting caught up on my reports, then Wednesday did interviews for the new teller position, they Thursday I had a VIP trip and then yesterday it was back to trying to catch up from being gone. Man am I tired!

Hurricane Winds

Wow, another day of hurricane strength winds. It is tearing up my gardens and hanging plants. Also a very bad hair day!!!! Yipes, when will it end????? I can't take this any more. It has been warm out though. I spent all weekend in the gardens getting everything weeded and nearly everything mulched. Maybe tomorrow when isn't quite so windy I can finish the mulching.

The wedding plans are under way. I have been searching the internet for a dress to wear. I have come up with a couple of possibilities. I am not totally sold on any of them though. I think we will have to have a girls shopping day and go to Sioux Falls and find something!!!! Any excuse to go shopping!!! :)

Well, back to cleaning and laundry!

Event Filled Weekend

Wow, it has been an event filled weekend. Friday night we went out for supper with friends to celebrate Leon's birthday. it was very nice - especially since it seemed like it had been such a long week at work. While we were at the restaurant I got a text from Denver. It was a picture of a woman's hand with a diamond ring on it. I was so excited. What wonderful news. I texted Denver back but he did not respond so I called him. I had a hard time hearing him so I asked where he was. He said they were in a bar in Volga celebrating with Danielles mom and sister. Well, I gotta say I was a little bit hurt that they would be out celebrating with out having called to tell us first. But I just let it go. Anyway, I waited until Saturday and called Denver back. He said they actually got engaged on Wednesday, but he wanted to give Danielle a few days to tell the people she wanted to tell before he told us. Hummm. I wondered why that would affect us, but again I didn't say anything. Then he put Danielle on the phone. Her first comment was "I am glad he finally told you guys. Okay, now I am really feeling hurt. Why . . . . . anyway, I am trying very hard not to let this bother me. It is a very trivial thing, but I still feel hurt. Not enough to say anything. Just my own problem. I will never say anything to anyone about this, but I am allowed to feel the way I feel. It is what it is! Now on to wedding plans.

Mother's Day

It was a very nice Mother's Day weekend. Denver and Danielle came home on Saturday. We had lunch together and they gave me a wonderful gift from them and Randi and Travis and the kids. The weather was crappy so we couldn't be outside oranything, but it was wonderful to have them home. Then on Sunday we had pot luck at my mom's for lunch. It was nice to get together with mom and Chuck and Laurie. After that we headed to Millie's for awhile. That was nice as well. We got to visit with Gene & Karen and Norm & Brenda while we were there. When we got home from there, I did a few things around the house and then just vegged in my chair the rest of the night. While I was cocooned in my chair I did a lot of thinking. I thought about all of the people and things I have in my life and how lucky I am. I have a very small house, but I love it. I love the cocoon feeling that my house gives me. I have kids who have turned out so well and are so thoughtful. I have a husband who loves and respects me - even if he is crabby sometimes. I have family (both mine and Leon's) whom I love to be around. They all make me feel loved and needed. After thinking about all of this I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming feeling of contentment and blessing. I hope all Mom's have a chance to experience that feeling of love.

Today is a sad day for many reasons. All of the company is gone and that always makes me feel sad. What is left is the cleaning. I have the beds stripped and sheets washed. All of the towels are washed and put away. The floors are swept. Everything is put away where it belongs. Tomorrow I need to clean the bathrooms and scrub the floors.

But I also feel sad for another reason. I have had time to think about Roy. I am so sad that he is not with us any more. I am sad that I didn't have a chance to say good-bye. I am sad that during the last 30 years I didn't call him more. I didn't keep in contact with him more. That when he was here I didn't talk to him more. That he won't be at Kruse-a-palooza any more. I have so many regrets. sometimes I get so busy with my life that the really important things like that get forgotten. I can't let that happen again. I need to make sure to tend to the really important things - family and friends. I need to say "I love you" and "I'm sorry" more. I need to do more for others and be less selfish. I need to be a better person.

Pray for a Miracle

This isn't exactly the way I thought I would be spending the weekend. At home, alone. Leon has taken off for Texas with his brother and 2 sisters. Roy is not doing well. In fact, the doctor prety much told him there wasn't anything else they could do for him. It sounds like Roy has really rallied since all of his siblings got there. I sure hope that is a good sign. Maybe they all gave him hope and a new reason to live. Maybe he will fight harder and allow the doctors to do more. I made a prayer shawl for Roy and sent it down there with Leon. I hope the love and prayers of the family that are crocheted into that shawl will uplift him and give him renewed strenghth to fight. All we can do is pray for a miracle.

On the other hand, I have gotten a lot done around here since I am here alone. I cleaned nearly the entire house, caught up on laundry, cleaned a couple of closets, worked on a blanket and went to church. Tomorrow I am going to alter some curtains and work out in the gardens. It was a beautiful day today and is suppose to be even nicer tomorrow.

How Time Flies

As I sit here tonight I am reflecting on a lot of things. I just can't believe how fast time goes by. I can't believe it has been 3 years since Dayton's accident. Three years since we lost one of the brightest spots in the Kruse family. I think about him nearly every day. I think back to the times he was here. I think about the last time I saw him and talked to him. About how a mear second can change our lives forever. But even more than that, we never know when our own time or the time of a loved one will come. I know it sounds so cliche to say "live life to it's fullest every day because you don't know when your time will come", but it is so true. If I knew when my last day would be, would I change the way I lived? I don't know. I hope that Dayton's life on earth was not in vain. That something good has happened because Dayton was in our life. For me, I know that his life and death have changed my attitude about many things. We are all better people for having Dayton in our lives.

A Roller Coaster Ride

The past week has been one of a lot of ups and downs. We had a couple of days of warmth and sun. It was fabulous! Everyone felt better and we got rid of a lot of snow. Then came cool, misty, cloudy weather. Back to feeling depressed. I had good days at work. I thought I was doing well, and getting caught up. Then came a meeting with my new boss. It was like a steak through my heart - at least for awhile. As I thought about it for day or two I started looking at it differently and it made me feel a lot better. Early in the week I thought Roy was feeling and doing better. I knew that Norm was going to discuss things with Roy and Dennis when he got down there. They were going to see if they could move Roy to Minnesota - or at least to Sioux Falls hospital. Now today I found out he is not feeling well at all. There is no way they can move hime for awhile. Today I am home by myself. Leon has a long rehearsal for a cantata the choir is doing next Sunday. That is okay with me though. I am finishing up cleaning and laundry to get ready for the new work week. If it were a little bit warmer I would be outside working in the flower beds. Maybe in a week or two. Until then, I will get the rest of my projects done around the house.

A Good Weekend

It was a nice weekend. Friday night we went out for supper with our usual group of friends. That is always nice. We all get caught up on each others work week. I look forward to our Friday nights all week long.

Saturday morning a friend and I were going to head to Sioux Falls shopping. I was a little nervous driving as it had rained during the night. The news people said to be careful at intersections as it could be slippery. Yup, we found that out the hard way. At the first intersection at the edge of town, we almost put the car in the ditch. The rest of the day was fabulous though. We had so much fun shopping and eating. I didn't get everything I was looking for, but got a lot of great deals - including a new purse. :)

Today we headed to Iona after church. The fire department had a chili challenge there. Lots of yummy flavors of chili. it always amazes me how many different ways you can make chili. When we got home, Leon headed for cantata practice and I started cleaning one of the attic spaces upstairs. When he got home we watched a couple of movies and then grilled steaks for supper. That's right we grilled. Yum!!! The weather was warm but foggy so we decided that it would be a good day for grilling.

Tomorrow another weather front is moving through. The weather man says it could be a major weather maker. Mostly rain, but the temps are right at the 30 - 32 degree mark at night. Could make for intersting trips to work for some of my co-workers every morning this next week. On the other hand the rain should help shrink the snow banks. YIPEEEEEEEE

We're Back

I can't believe our time in Michigan went so fast. It was so nice to see them again. Leon helped Travis with a few carpentry items around the house and I helped Randi with a few decorating things. We painted the bathroom and made/altered some curtains for Logan's room. Of course I cried all the way home. The actual drive out there was good. We have a Garmin so that made the drive pretty stress free. Well, except for an incident at one of the toll boths. But I know we would have had a lot of troubles in Chicago if we didn't have the Garmin. The trip home was a little more stressful. Aside from the tears, we ended up driving 4 hours in blowing and drifting snow when we hit the Minnesota boarder. Going back to work the day after we got home was not fun. I was tired and emotional from the trip. But it didn't take long to get back in the groove. The stress level at work continues to get better every day. One of our main tellers is going to have a baby any day though, so it could get a little more hectic very soon. Well, I better get back to my cleaning.

Exciting times

Tonight I am so excited. Right now we are packing our suitcases. early tomorrow morning we are heading out to Michigan to see Randi, Travis, and the kids. It is exciting to get to see them again. We haven't seen them since Christmas. I was so used to having them around all the time. It has been really hard on me to have them so far away. Just as exciting though, is getting a few days away from work. Since the beginning of December I feel like I have lived at the bank. I stayed late again last night and tonight to try to get everything done before I left. Well, I got as much done as I could, but of course there were some things I didn't get done. It will just have to wait until I get back. Another worry is the weather. I sure hope the weather holds out until we get back. Well, actually I wouldn't mind getting snowed in in Michigan. A few extra days out of the bank would be very healing for me. But driving that far in crappy weather is not good. Makes for frayed nerves and hot tempers. Oh well, nothing we can do about it now. Back to packing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I thought . . . . . .

Well, more snow, more snow and wind. It has been one of the worst winters I can remember. The snow along the sides of the streets are so high right now, you can't see over them. It is difficult to see oncoming traffic when you come to an intersection. Because of the cold, cloudy, gloomy weather I can feel the depression creeping in. I especially feel it on Sunday nights. I feel the weight of the coming week on my shoulders. I try very hard to keep up beat, but it is very hard. But then this week we started finalizing our plans to go to Michigan to see the kids. That made me feel so much better. I am so excited to see them. And then things started getting better at work this week too. I felt like I was getting caught up and getting a handle on everything. Ya, just when I thought everything was looking up - today happened. I was blessed with a 25 page report containing ACH transactions that are still trying to hit the old UP routing number. What does that mean for me???? It means I will be burried in calls to customers trying to help get these ACH transactions corrected. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know when I will fit this all in. It takes me at least 2 hours to get my normal daily reports done. Then I have phone calls and customers who want to open new accounts. I am there until 5:30 - 6:00 the way it is. I just can't imagine what the next several days is going to be like.

Another Day Another Blizzard

Wow, have we had an usual amount of winter storms this year. Over the weekend - Saturday - we had a lot of rain. Yipes, rain in Minnesota in January is not good. It usually means lots of car accidents and loss of electricity. Well, there were a lot of car accidents, however we did not lose any electricity. Yesterday it got colder so all of the rain from Saturday froze solid - just like glass. Today we had more snow and 40 mile an hour winds. There were white out conditions. The girls who live out of town left the office at noon. I am glad I live in town so I don't have to worry about driving home in bad weather. In that same thought, however, I am getting very tired of covering for them when they all leave early. I know that sounds terribly selfish, but those who live in town do get the shaft when this happens. I sure hope we have better weather tomorrow.

Wonderful Day Off

Today is Martin Luther King Day. The office is open, but half staff. I have today off, but have to work on Presidents Day. I got my immobilizer off on Tuesday and started therapy on Thursday. The therapy is quite "uncomfortable", but I know it will be worth it. I have to go twice a week for 4 - 6 weeks depending on how quickly I get my muscle tone and range of motion back - if I get it all back. The therapist said there is a chance I may not get 100% of it back. Well, I am going to work as hard as I can to get it all back. Anyway, without the immoblizer on I can get a lot done. I did a lot of cleaning over the weekend. I still can't scrub floors, but I can mop them. That helps a lot, I just can't get into the corners. I feel so much better when the house is clean and picked up.

The weather is fantastic right now. Over the weekend the highs were in the upper 30's so there was a lot of melting going on. I think everyone just feels better when the sun is shining. The down side is that as the snow melts off of the roofs, it creates a lot of ice dams on the edges of buildings. Leon spent a lot of time on the roof trying to get rid of the ice dams. We don't need any of that kind of damage to the house! I just heard the forcast - more storms coming in this week!!!! :( I am very tired of the winter already and we have a least 2 months left of winter weather. We haven't had a winter this cold and snowy for a long long time.

Just found out that Leon's brother Roy is doing very well. The last bone marrow test came back clear of cancer cells. FABULOUS!!!!! An answer to our prayers. I hope he continues to do well. Then he intends to move back to Minnesota. It will be nice for him to be back here where there is a lot more family to take care of him. It will be a lot of pressure off of Becky and Dennis.

A Minnesota Winter

Last week we had some pretty horrible winter weather. On Wednesday it started snowing. Then it kept on snowing all night and the next day. The wind was blowing about 30 mph as well. Only 5 of us made it to work. That was fine because it wasn't too busy. I took the opportunity to start catching up on some things. The snow stopped by Friday, but it got down to -25 with wind chills of -40. Brrrrrrrrr

Saturday I started to clean the house. I did what I could, but I still can't scrub floors or anything. That will come I guess. Denver and Danielle came home so Leon could fix the snow blower. Well, there was no fix left to it so they went out looking for a replacement. When they got back they decided we should go out for supper. We went to the Grain Exchange. What a mistake. We sat there for nearly half an hour and nobody came to wait on us. Not even get a drink order. I was so upset. We just left. We ended up going to the Loon for their buffet.

Sunday I only left the house long enough to go to church. I didn't mind being a hermit at all. In fact it was very relaxing to just snuggle up under a blanket in my chair and watch football all day. I did some laundry and other putzy stuff, but it was just a very nice day.

Then came today. It was like they opened the flood gates at work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone who didn't make it out of their house last week came in. I have such a huge pile of work that I didn't get to today. I am going to have to go in early again tomorrow and try to get some more things done. I just get so much more done when there isn't anyone else around. I just don't know if things will ever smooth out so that I can get most of my daily tasks done in a day. I just don't see that happening. . . . . .

Post Holiday Depression

Yup, here it comes. . . . . . post holiday depression. It is 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Work was terrible!!!! I just can't seem to get caught up. I know I keep saying that, but it is so true. Besides that, I just can't seem to turn my mind off. Everything from the day keeps reeling through my mind. My arm hurts like crazy. Because of how busy it is at work, I probably use it too much during the day and then at night it hurts. My house is so dirty right now. I can't clean it like I want to. I try to keep it picked up, but I am not able to scrub floors or anything. I can barely do dishes. I think tomorrow night I am going to have to get the "Simply Sleep" out and start taking them. This is driving me crazy.

A Christmas to Remember

Wow, a lot has happened in my life since my last post. I continued to put in 12 hour days the rest of that first week after the acquisition. Then just one week after the acquisiton date, I fell and broke my arm. My right arm no less. It was after the community band Christmas Concert and I was going to put my chair, stand, and horn away. I had them all in my hands and turned - I was closer to the top step than I thought and went down hard and fast. Boy did that change things for me. Especially at work. I had to be creative and figure out ways to get things done. It was so busy and I was so frustrated as things were taking me 3 and 4 times longer than they should have to get done. By the time I would get home from work, I would be in tears. Tears of frustration and release of stress. It is a good thing I got my Christas shopping done before the acquisition, or I probably would not have been able to get done.

Then on the 18th Randi and the kids came home. What a blessing that was. Randi helped me a lot. So nice to have Logan and Lauren around. On the 23rd Denver and Danielle and Travis came home. That was also very nice. I was just overwhelmed with joy at having all of the family here. by the 24th the blizzard started. We were without electricity for 14 hours. So for Christmas Eve supper we ended up having turkey sandwiches and chips. Christmas day the elecricity finally came on again, but it was still snowing and windy. We ended up getting 18 to 20 inches of snow. Christmas Day was really fun though. Opening gifts with the kids was hillarious. Finally on Sunday Denver and Danielle were able to get home. By Sunday night Becky and Dennis were here. It was good to see them, but I was worried that I wouldn't be able to cook and clean for everyone. Well, it was a blessing that Randi was still here she and Becky did so much especially since I had to work the entire time they were all here. New Year's Eve was fun with everyone here. I think I finally relaxed after 3 weeks of stress at work and the frustrations of dealing with my arm. Anyway, then last night it got down to -25. Thank goodness everyone's cars started this morning. Becky and Dennis took off around 8:00 a.m. and Randi, Travis and the kids left after lunch. Now it is so lonely here. I have cried most of the afternoon. Well, I better keep cleaning and putting stuff away.