What a whirlwind couple of days we have had. Denver and Danielle have been waiting to adopt a baby for what seems like a long time. Yesterday that baby arrived. He will be released from the hospital into their hands tomorrow morning. I have to admit I cried. The tears were happy tears for Denver and Danielle. I am so incredibly happy for them. The tears were aso tears of love and appreciation for a woman I don't know. A woman who is giving up a baby that she carried for 9 months. What a selfless wonderful thing for her to do. Our new grandson's name is Kellen David Wayne Kruse. Denver and Danielle are also building a new house. The house is done, they are just waiting for the basement to be completed so they can move the house on to the foundation. I am so excited to see it. I have seen pictures, but that is all. We will be heading up to see them in a couple of days. HOpefully we will get to hold the baby and see the hole in the ground where the house is going to be placed. More excitement!!!

Boy, I a horrible child! Dad died July 2000. Since he was pretty much the decision maker in the family, I kind of felt obligated to help Mom. I tried to slow down her decision making when it came to major decisions - she is definatly a snap decision maker, and it isn't always good. And maybe I feel even more protective because I feel like Ed talks her into making bad decisions. Well, apparently she is offended by my help. Well, at least what I thought was my help. She interpeted it as I was trying to run her life - as disrespectful to her and her abilities. Hummm, as I step back and look at this from afar, she might be right. I could have and should have been much more diplomatic. It is just that every time she decided to do something, it backfired and I ended up cleaning up the pieces. It was very selfish of me, but I was feeling frustrated that I had to deal with these things. Example - first "they" bought a pull type camper and of course a pickup to pull it. They could not use it - it was too much for them to put it up and take it down, etc. I had to deal with Mom and what to do with this camper. In the end they traded the camper for a boat! A boat of all things. They thought it would be easier to sell a boat than a camper that was very cumbersome to use. Well, that was late last summer and they still have the boat. Then they bought a motor home. The motor home ended up being a piece of crap! Now Mom was entirely upset about the motor home. I guess I was upset because in all of these cases I feel like she got "taken" even with or maybe because of Ed's help. They did spend an arm and a leg to get the motor home fixed and intend to drive it out to Vegas to see my brother. Neither one of them are very good drivers, and it is a lot different driving a motor home than it is a car. I am just very, very worried about her and her decision making. I don't worry because I want to inherit any of the little bit of money she has. I am worried that she is not going to have any money left to take care of herself in a couple of years. I feel bad that she is so offended. I am done trying to protect her. I don't want to be any more upset with me than she already is. I guess she is just going to have to deal with what ever happens. I guess I am too. I have 3 brothers that should be helping me and backing me up, but they don't want any part of it. Well, enough for tonight. I just have to let go of this and not worry.

Mother Nature is such a tease! The past couple of days have been so nice. Yesterday it was up to 71. We dug out the patio furniture, picked up sticks in the lawn and just enjoyed being out in the sun! Today it is about 31 and there are a few snow flakes in the air. Oh well, a good day to be in the house getting some things done. It has been such a busy couple of weeks I haven't gotten much housework done. This past week I was only home one night. I went to a seminar on "Pioneer Women in Southwest Minnesota" on Tuesday, Wednesday was Lenten Service, Thursday a meeting, Friday "Prairie Music" concert and last night was the George Washington banquet at the lodge. today is Travis' birthday so after church we all went out for lunch at the Hub (yum, yum). This afternoon I need to get organized for a meeting I have to go to in Sioux Falls tomorrow. Not especially thrilled to go that far for a meeting, but it is part of my job. this next week will be busy as well. I need to get the house cleaned and some food made for Easter. I have both sides coming over. My side is coming over for lunch after church and Leon's side for supper. I decided that if I was going to go through all the work of cleaning the house that well and making food, I might as well have both sides over. Well, off to get some more cleaning done!

Am I really getting that old? Geez some little stuff at work is starting to bug the heck out of me! The tellers don't hang their coats on the coat tree, they shove them under their teller windows. So? It should not matter to me as long as the customers cant see them. But it bugs me. I don't say anything because it isn't a big deal, but it bugs me. I tind myself getting very annoyed, very easily. Am I just getting old? J never used to get annoyed by such little things. Maybe it is just that I have been working at the bank for over 30 years. Maybe injustice need to do something different. I am not sure what else I would do. . . Or maybe I just haven't spent enough time recharging at home. I have been gone nearly every evening at meetings and such as well as most weekend days. It is all good community stuff - like we (the community band) played during the Coaches. Vs Cancer basketball game, we went to the chamber of commerce annual banquet to represent the bank, went to a bridal shower, and then there is Lenten services, Hospice Banquet and lots of other stuff. I guess I have also been stressing myself out a bout a few things at work too. I had to do a presentation on retirement plans to a group last Friday and today I had to go to Sioux Falls to do my proctor testing. Maybe now that both of those things are done, I won't feel so annoyed all the time. Maybe. . . . .

What a difference a week makes. The past couple of days have been warm and mostly sunny. And a few people have even seen robins!!!! A lot of the snow has melted and you can see grass. It is wonderful!! It is also very appropriate since we are going into the lenten season. I have also come down with a nasty cold. I cough all night long and blow my nose constantly. I hope am over this soon. I am so tired when I get home, all I want to do is sleep. I think I will take a nap now.

Windy and snowy and cold - oh my! Yes, winter in Minnesota. I am so tired of winter. Spring just can't come fast enough. I really do like winter, but this winter has been exceptionally long and cold. In fact, the weather broadcast the other night said it has been the 4th coldest winter on record. Not just here, but across most of the United States. The best part of most winters is that it makes me appreciate spring that much more. Anyway, because of the blustery day, I didn't leave the house. I slept in till 7:30 and putzed around the house. I thought about not even getting out of my pajamas, but I would have been so embarassed if someone would have stopped. I didn't do too much cleaning, because Denver and Danielle are bringing the dogs for a few days. They are going down to Florida to Twins training camp for a few days and I said we would watch Rocky and Pearl. Rocky sheds so bad! Pearl is part pug so she doesn't shed much, but Rocky makes up for both of them. when they come and get the dogs I will do some cleaning - serious cleaning. I feel bad that we watch Randi and Travis's kids all the time, but we don't have a chance to do much for Denver and Danielle. This is one small thing I can do for them. I love the dogs, but not too excited about getting up early to let them out to go potty and taking them on a walk in this cold weather. Oh well, it is only for 4 or 5 days so it isn't so bad.

You know, I feel like I have wished my life away. In high school I could hardly wait until I got to college. In college I could hardly wait to be done and out in the working world. Then after we had kids I could hardly wait until they got potty trained,got into school,, etc. It goes on and on. I didn't often stop and just really enjoy where I was at in life. This is not a new revelation for me. I have thought about this many other times. I just seem to fall back onto the same rut though. This time I was working with my 5 year plan. You know, in 5 years Leon will be old enough for social security and Medicare, the house will be paid for, etc. Once again I found myself feeling like I could hardly wait to retire. Yes, I feel overwhelmed at work a lot, but it is a good job and I love my coworkers. And I don't really know what I would rather xdo. I just have to find a way to deal with the stress. How do I make myself feel less stress. I have to think a lot about this again!!!

An attitude of grattitude! I have so much to be grateful for in my life. I have a husband who loves me - despite a couple of rough patches. I have children who have grown up to be very responsible adults. I have a house that is small, but almost paid for. I have a job that has given me the opportunity to travel, meet new people and grow as a person. Despite the stress, it pays the bills and allows me to save a little. I have wonderful friends and family. I am truly blessed!!!! I have to remember all of these blessings. So often I dwell on what I don't have and get depressed. I am trying very hard to turn that around. Nobody likes to be around a "Debbie downer". I am going to try harder to be happy and grateful.

It has been a great long weekend. It started off on Valentines Day. We had tickets to a "Sons of the Pioneers" concert. It wouldn't have been my first choice of something to do for Valentines Day, but Leon loved it. Saturday and Sunday were a little rough. I had a cold so after I got the house cleaned on Saturday, I took a long nap. I did the same thing on Sunday. After lunch I took another long nap. I really needed those naps though. I feel much better today. I got lots of little things done. It was wonderful. The weather was even great. I think the high was around 40. Melted a lot of snow. It is supposed to be warm all week! Yipee!!!! I think everyone feels better when the sun shines and we get hints of spring. Just keep thinking spring!

Well, I feel like I have gotten a lot accomplished. This past weekend I got the front of the quilt done. Now I just have to back it and bind it. That is the easy part. I also got our taxes done. I spent the last 4 evenings working on it, but now it is all done and ready to send in. At work, I think I finally have everything in my office organized and looking nice. I have the kids Valentine's all ready to go and Denver's birthday present ready. It feels good to have all of that done. Now on to the next set of things to get done!

Holy Cow! I just read my last post, and part of it did not make sense. I guess I should not post via my Kindle any more. It changes a lot of the words and I don't see it. Today is a beautiful sunny day today. The sun just seems to make everyone feel better this time of year. I hear the groundhog saw his shadow today though. That means 6 more weeks of winter! I hope he is wrong. I am ready for spring and planning the gardens. I love having the vegetable garden. Today is Super Bowl Sunday. We are having a bunch of friends over to watch the game and eat a little bit. I have a bunch of things ready - jalapino bites, BBQ wings, potato skins, etc. Plus I have cheezy turkey sandwiches for half time. Everyone is bringing something as well. Love it! I don't really watch the game - just the comercials. But it is a good excuse to have a bunch of friends over. I may not stay awake till the end though. I moved offices yesterday. I acutally started Friday packing up all the files and desk drawers full of "stuff". Yesterday I spent putting all the files and binders away. At least I think I know where everything is when the bank opens on Monday morning. All that moving took everything out of me. I am still exhausted. Now, I just need to get stuff on the walls. Maybe I should have a diet coke right now while I get everything set up for company. Yes, that is a good idea!

I didn't sleep very well last night. Once again I found myself out on the couch watching Tv at 3:00 a.m.There was just so many things running through my mind. I just couldn't turn off all the thinks in my brain. I have been told that it has a lot to do with being post -menopausal. I must have a lot of hormones messing up my sleep patterns or something. What ever if is, I wish it would go away. I don't sleep and I worry about everything!!!!! The weatherman was right about the weather today. It snowed most of the day. Add that yo the 55 mile an hour winds and it was a good old Minnesota winter storm. After church I made lunch and then spent the rest of the day quilting. I was in heaven. I was able to Gettysburg quilt too donethag I was working on. Now I just have to get a batting and backing yo finish it off. And now it is time for anode glass of red wine!

It's another winter day in Minnesota. Right now it is relatively warm outside. The sun was shining all day and there wasn't much for wind. Love it. We went up to the Family Fair at school for awhile and watched Logan's preschool class do some songs and finger plays. It was very cute. And Logan did a good job of doing the singing and actions when he was suppose to. On Thursday Lauren is going to a little Rebels cheerleading camp. Then on Friday night at halftime of the varsity basketball game they are going to perform. I am so glad that Randi and Travis live close enough that we can attend the kids programs and such. Now tomorrow is going to be a different story. We are currently under a blizzard warning for tomorrow. We are predicted to get 2 to 4 inches of snow and 35 to 55 mile per hour winds. Lovely!!!! I guess I will just hunker down in my sewing room and do some more quilting. I have a quilt and a baby blanket to get done. I usually have a few baby blankets made up so when someone around here has a baby, I have something ready. Ya, and then it is back to work on Monday . . . . Why do the weekends go so quickly?

Okay so maybe this whole stress in my life is because I am a control freak. Maybe I stress more because I can't control the outcome of certain situations. Or because the outcome of certain situations are unknown. I don't stress when I know what is going on and know the outcome. You know I really don't want to control situations,w I think I stress becase I don't kn ow how things are going to turn out. I also go back to my assumption that I don't. Have enough faith. I have "dinky" faith. If I had enough faith I would know that God is taking care of all of this for me. So more prayer and a little Zoloft. That is the answer.

Why does everything happen at once? First the car starts acting up. the gages on the dashboard are all screwed up. The gas gage shows full one time and 1/2 empty the next time you start it. Then the heat gage started acting up. The gage will show the car is hot one time and cold 5 minutes later. At least the car still works. Next the pickup starts acting up. the heater fan only works once in awhile. And once in awhile the lights don't work! Next, our sewer system decides to give us fits. It backed up into the room with our freezer. YUCK!!!!! And to top it off, the furnace is not fixed yet either. I just feel like everything in my life is falling apart right now. Fast forward to work this week. My boss was over on Thursday and met with me for over an hour. Once again they want me to change the direction of my job. This time I am really not happy with where things are going. They want me to move to a different office and everything. this all is just too much for my poor brain to handle right now. I have gone back to not sleeping at night and having anxiety attacks during the day. I am a mess! I just hope the next few weeks things will work themselves out so I can sleep at night.

The after holiday blues have set in. After all the excitement of Christmas and New Years, it is back to a blah routine of work. Oh well, I guess you have to have the blah routine to make the holidays more fun. But was it hard to go back to work today! I just didn't want to go to work today. I think part of it was the the post holiday blahs and part of it was the weather. I woke up this morning to -45 wind chills. Burrrr. Governor Dayton had called off school in all of Minnesota. That is the first time since about 1997 that that has happened. and on top of the weather, the furnace isn't working correctly. I came home at noon and again tonight and it was 57 in the house. I had to go down both times and hit the reset button to get the furnace to kick in. I hope my husband called the repair man! Or I may wake up to ice sicles on my nose tomorrow morning. Tonight should be quiet around the house though. A chance to rest and relax. Just gotta keep the furnace going.