No news is good news?????

Well, it has been another whole week and still no news. Hummm. What is going on? The longer this goes, the more angry I feel. I just don't understand!!!!!. The week did go fast however. I like being busy. I guess it is just all the politics I hate. Yesterday was a fun day. I went to Fulda with a friend and we spent a couple of hours at the big craft show. I didn't buy anything, but it was fun. Then we decided to go to Worthington to do a little shopping. I got a few things, but mostly some groceries for Thanksgiving. Wow, Thanksgiving is coming very quickly. Both kids and their families are coming home so I am super excited about that. We haven't all been together since Kruse-a-palooza! The next few days will be spent cleaning, and making food. I like to have extra things on hand for everyone. Today we woke up to freezing rain. It was super slippery going to church. I nearly slid through a stop sign! But since we got home we haven't left the house. Just watching the Vikings game. And isn't that frustrating! We are behind by 21 points in the 3rd quarter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might have to change the channel. I just can't handle this.

No News

Well, I waited al day Friday for any news on my job - nothing. I left work not knowing any more that I did 2 weeks ago. What the heck is going on. YOu know, even if they were going to make changes to my job, why did they have to tell me there would be changes, and then take forever to tell me what the changes are going to be.

Last night was very fun though. We had a little mini-kruse-a-palooza. We went to the bowling alley here in town. First we all had their hamberger special - yummmmmmm!!!! Then we had a great time with a few beers and a lot of bowling. I didn't bowl very well, but we laughed until we cried. When we got done, everyone came back here for a few more beers and some snacks that I had ready.

Today I woke up to blowing snow. Yup - the first snow of the season. Only a couple of inches, but the ground is white. I spent the day indoors, cleaning, doing laundry, and stuff like that. I always feel better when the house is clean and orderly. My big accomplishment of the day though, is that I got my resume done. I am not going to send it out to anyone yet, but if things don't change at work soon, I may start. I just want to be ready.

A lot thinking

You know, I still don't know what is wrong with me. I have spent many hours trying to figure things out. Today was a little better though. At least I wasn't in melt down mode all day. I was able to finish my projects and get things done. Still not happy inside though. I didn't cry all day, but I could feel the demon called depression heavy on my heart. It rained all day so that may have been part of the depression thing . . . . . . . Tomorrow my boss will be in meetings with senior management all day. I am guessing they will have an opportunity to "discuss" what ever changes they are considering for my job. I am hoping that some news will come my way on Friday then. I really need to know what they have in mind. The not knowing is so hard and so unfair.

What is wrong with me

I just don't know. . . . . . since this whole thing started at work, I feel like I am falling apart. I can't stay focused, I can't sleep, I can't even think straight. It is just not fair that everyone around me can get what they want. I am so full of resentment, frustration and negative feelings right now. I thought I was a stronger person than this. I want to be happy and have fun. Why can't I????

Welll, a week has passed and I still don't know any more about my job. Nobody is willing or able to tell me what is going to happen with my job. I think it is pretty inconsiderate of them to tell me my job is changing and then just leave me hanging for weeks and weeks about what it is changing to. I think I will feel better when I at least know what is going on.

It has been a nice weekend. Friday night we went out for supper with friends. We always have a good time when we go out. Lots of laughing and story telling. It is a nice way to end a work week. I had to work Saturday morning, but I got caught up on a lot of things. It sure will make life easier this coming work week. But the best part is that we met Denver and Danielle at Dar's Pizza last night for supper. We have only seen them once since Kruse-a-palooza. Dactronics has kept Danielle on the road so much that Denver doesn't even get to see much of her. This time, she got home on Friday night, and now she has to fly out again this afternoon. Hardly home 48 hours. I would hate being gone so much! Today I will have some nice free time after church. Time to watch the Vikings game and work on the quilt. Nice theapy time before another busy work week.

I Tried

I tried to make it through the week. I really did try. But yesterday I lost it. I tried to stay in my office as much as I could, but it didn't work very well. I had such a hard time maintaining my composure. I am not really sure why. I know it has a lot to do with the amount of stress in my life right now. I could see the tellers out there whispering and looking my direction. I know they were whispering about me. I guess I was having a pity party for myself. Just plain feeling sorry for myself. I didn't talk to anyone about it though. I have to wrestle with some internal demons and figure out if I am just imagining it, or if management reeally is taking advantage of me. I don't want to say anything until I get it all worked out in my head. Anyway, by the end of the day I asked the branch president if I could have some time off. He said it would be fine. He wondered what I was upset about. I just couldn't talk to him about it yet. I hope by Monday when I go back, things will be better and I can visit with him for a few minutes. In the mean time I have had a good day so far. I have cleaned and done laundry and worked a lot on the quilt. All very theraputic for me. Tomorrow I am going to finish cleaning and then it is girls weekend. We are heading for Sioux Falls for some "retail therapy". I know I will feel better after that!!!!!

Another Weekend

It is just unbelievable to me just how quickly a weekend can go by. I think it is mostly because the past week was so extremely stressful. Logan had another acute asthma attack and ended up back at the doctor. Lat time the doctor sent him home with a nebulizor. This time he not only has to use the neb 4 times a day, but now they have to put steroids in the neb 2 times a day. Poor little thing. I so remember those days with Denver. Only back then, you had to go to the hospital for the neb treatments. I sure hope he grows out of it. I wish I lived closer so I could be there to help.

It was pretty stressful at work too. I guess my job is going to be changing. That is what management tells me anyway. In order for that to happen, somthing has to come off of my plate. The things they are talking about taking off of my plate are pretty controversial. At least that is what they tell me. Nobody will take on those duties. My questions is, since when do they have a choice. For me it has always been that you do what they tell you to. I did not know you could refuse to do something. Anyway, now they are trying to figure out what to do with these duties. I feel like I am being blamed for this by my co-workers. I did not ask to have my job changed, I was just told. And actually when I talked to one of the senior management team, I asked if I could know what was going on. He said they were not prepared to tell me yet. I asked if I could be in on the "discussion" about it. He said he didn't even know that. Hummmmmmmm

I just feel like every aspect of my life is in flux right now. I sure hope that this week things will work themselves out. I am leaving it all in God's hands right now. That is all I can do!