Wow, so much has happened in the last few weeks! Our 10 year old granddaughter. Was involved in a cooking accident. She was making Mac and cheese for her brother and sister. When she went to drain the noodles, she slipped and the whole pan of boiling water landed on her thighs and panther area. Her mom and dad brought her in to the ER where the doctor determined the 3rd degree burns were more than they could handle here. He sent her by ambulance to the burn vented in St. Paul. Twenty four days. And three surgeries later she is home recovering. Who would have thought a box of macaroni and cheese could cause so much damage! The whole time she was in the hospital, all she wanted was to be home to go to candle light Christmas Eve service at church. She made it! We were all able to go to church together. Tomorrow is her first check up and major dressing change. Hope it all goes well. Besides having the two little ones here quite a bit of the time (so mommy and daddy could be at the hospital) I had a coworker go out on medical leave. She will be out at least. 8 more weeks! That means I will be doing her job and my job for at least 8 more weeks. In to work early, stay late and no ouch break for at least that long. Not looking forward to that! Actually. I have been doing it for 2 weeks already. My stress level is off the charts! This too shall pass!

They say, if you don't like the weather in Minnesota, just wait 10 minutes and it will change. That is exactly what it was like today. This morning was fairly warm and the sun was trying to shine. By noon it was cloudy and starting to mist. The temps were falling most of the afternoon. By 2:00 the mist had turned to rain and it was starting to get windy. Right now the wind is gusting to 50 mph and the wind chill is about 28! Good thing we don't have any snow out there or it would be a blizzard. It is Veteran's Day today so I had the day off. Even though the weather was crappy, I still had a good day. I did a lot of cleaning and organizing. It was just nice to be away from the office. Tonight I am just relaxing. The next 4 days are going to be busy and I just don't do well when I am that busy. I start to feel overwhelmed. Not good. So back to my Lazyboy and blanket!

Fall is in the air! The combines are going from sun up to late at night. Most of the beans are out and the farmers are on to corn. The apples at the orchard are crispy and juicy. The maple trees in our yard are beautiful!!! I really do love this time of year. Being raised on a farm, I know that this is the make or break time of year. This is definitely a farming community. And as the farm economy goes, so goes main street. Everyone hopes for a great harvest no matter if you are a farmer or not. Even my garden harvest was good. My vegetables are all in jars in my basement. There are a few things left to do however. There are leaves to rake, the garden to spade over, and the perennials to cut down. Just not enough hours in a day!

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well, I think I just tested that this past week. I had to go to Omaha for some classes. It was pretty unnerving to me. I am not used to driving in city traffic. After all, we don't even have a stop light here in town. For this trip I had to drive 4 hours by myself!!!! I had to go from I29 to I180 to I80 to get to my destination. I was very nervous to say the least. I made it though. I didn't get lost or take a wrong turn. Yay me!!! The classes I took were interesting, but by the end I was feeling very overwhelmed. My brain felt like pudding and was running out of my ears. Yipes. I am getting too old for this.

Today is the official end of summer. Kind of sad I guess. The good part of that is that it means we are coming to the end of lawn mowing, weeding, and canning. I will probably can a few more things, but for the most part I am done. I took advantage of the long weekend to get a lot done. I canned 16 pints of Bloody Mary Mix and picked a bunch more. green beans. I also got caught up on cleaning and laundry. I got things done that have been on the back burner for quite awhile. It felt so good. Then today I caught up on a few things from work that I was falling behind on. That was really a good feeling! So even though it was the official end of summer, which is kind of depressing, it was a very productive weekend for me!

And the harvest continues. I have canned more green beans, more salsa and more "Rotel". Next up is Bloody May Mix. I decided to take a break from canning tonight. I probably won't do any tomorrow night either. Then I need to get back to it. I have most of my pint jars filled. I have some quart jars left so I may have to can some of the Bloody Mary Mix in quarts. Stress at work continues. Once again I feel like I just keep falling further and further behind. I try not to take work home with me. I need a break from it to unwind and relax. But I think I am going to have to start. Performance evaluations are due soon, I have had some traveling to do for work (to other offices for appointments) and have had to cover for a co-worker when she has been out. On top of all of that we are changing broker/dealers AGAIN so there is a ton of paperwork involved in that. It all feels like it is caving in again. Well, I better go get something done then.

Again, the end of a very busy week! It was Murray County Fair Week. That means we were down at the fair grounds every night for something. Lauren and Logan are in 4-H so of course we had to go to the 4-H building and see how they did. I am very proud of both of them! We had to go see how my niece Cheyenne did on her calves. She did an awesome job - reserve champion. We went for the Lumberjack show, the Looney Lutheran show, had to get a malt at the Dairy Assn. stand and a pork burger at the Pork stand and check out the wine tasting and beer garden! Saturday was the parade and of course the band was in the parade. Then right after the parade the band was part of the dedication of the county Veteran's Memorial. I was exhausted by last night when it was all over. Well, then today I got back to my canning. I canned 16 more pints of green beans, 15 pints of salsa, and 5 pints of Rotel. In a couple of days I will have a lot more produce to can as the garden is doing very well this year. We have had nice rains at just the right time and lots of moderate heat - just enough heat. Lots of vegetables for fresh eating and a lot of extra for winter consumption! Yummmmm! The bonus part of our garden is that it is also my stress relief! When I go out to the garden I pull weeds like a crazy person when I am stressed. It helps! I take all my frustrations out on those poor weeds. tomorrow it is back to the old grind. In 2 weeks I will have my 32 year anniversary there. Sometimes I am proud of the fact that I have been a long time employee. but a lot of times lately I think it is just too long. I am tired of the politics of banking and tired of the stress involved in being in the position I am in. Sometimes I just want to have a job that doesn't take so much out of me. Like being a cashier at the grocery store or the drug store. When I go home, I don't have to think about it any more. But, I guess I just have to keep thinking about the 4 year plan. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A very busy time of year! Friday we headed il to Mall of America. Laurent was nominated for an academic award at the end of the school year. It was a statewide award. The ceremony and reception for the State winners was at the Mall of America. It was very nice, but boy is that a big place!!!!!! I think I walked 10 miles! We came home the same day so we spent 3 hours on the road each way, but it was worth it to see hr get the award. Yesterday I furiously cleaned house, picked and snaped beans, and then headed down to Relay For Life at the fairgrounds. It was a very nice event. I helped with the silent auction area. We 59 items donated for the silent auction! Just amazing! Even more amazing is that in a small community like ours the whole event raised $60,000 for the American Cancer Society. There were lots of ways to give money besides the silent auction. Each of the teams had things going on in their campsites and there were games to play. . . . Just lots of fun stuff. Then today after church we headed out to the farm and picke gd sweet corn. We got it all cut off the cob and processed. In all we got 48 pints done!!!!! Whew! Now we are sitting on the patio watching the Comings game. It is looting rain outside, but it is very nice sitting out here. I need to rest and recharge tonight. Tomorrow starts fair week here in town. The busiest week of the year! Every day after work it will be off to the fairgrounds. Then Saturday is the parade and Veteran's Memorial dedication. The end of the busy week! But that means the first day of school is right around the corner! Summer is almost over. Booo

Another great weekend! We went out for super with friends on Friday night. That was so nice. We haven't. Been ot with them for awhile so it was great to get caught up. This couple has had so rough luck in the last year. She was diagnosed with epilepsy and can no longer work. She us my age. At about the same time, her husband lot his job because the company he worked fir was sold. I feel so bad for them! I had to work Saturday morning, but that's okay. I needed to get caught up from being on vacation (kruse -a -palooza). I was able to get a lot done! Then Saturday afternoon was spent cleaning and doing laundry. A necessary part of life I guess. Then we ate supper out on the patio and then lit the firepit. It was so relaxing!!!! After church today we ate lunch out on the patio again. Wonderful! This afternoon I helped Laurent finish her 4H project. We started it a few months ago and she needed to get it done now. She wanted to learn his to sew, so I taught her how to make a pillowcase. She did it all herself though and she did a pretty good job! I hope she gets a blue ribbon on it. Now a little time to relax and get mentally ready for the work week ahead.

Well, another Kruse -a -palooza is done. Once again it went very well. We did so many fun things! First on the list was the family 5k. We raised some money to be given to a family suffering with cancer that may not have the resources to pay for all of the expenses. We also did tie died t - shirts with the kids, went to a movie, went on a hay ride, touted another brewery, and lots of other stuff. I always feel tired, but very content when it is over. I don't get to see most of these family members during the rest of the year so it is very nice. As I get older I often wonder if this event will continue when I am old and can no longer organize it. I hope that our children and their cousins will understand how important family is and that this event is important to keep that sense of family is all about. I guess I get a little emotional when I think about it. Okay, now that kruse -a -palooza is done I have other things to get back to. Last night we (community band) played in the parade in Adrian. When we got back to town we had the Fireman's dance. I was really tired, but we went anyway. Since my husband is on the fire department, we really needed to be there. Then today was the Fire Department family picnic. That was fun as well, but once again I am so tired. . . . . Now tomorrow it is back to work. Ugh! Back to the dreary routine!

Well, today is the 4th ofJuly. We did not go to any parades or fireworks or anything. I guess I do miss it it a little, but that's okay. We got a lot done today. I got the laundry done and a lot of cleaning dine. Kruse -a -palooza is just a couple of days away and I needed to get a lot done. The garage us done and the yard is done. I got most if the cleaning in the house done too. Just a couple of small things to do to get ready. Tonight we ate out on the patio. That is di much fun! Then Leon and I sat around the fie pit for About 4 hours. It was wonderful! Now I am pretty tired!

Whew! The whirlwind weekend is coming to an end. We got up early on Saturate morning and got the bandwagon ready to head out. Our first parade was in Pipestone. That was a very nice parade. Once we were done, we quickly got the bandwagon in road ready condition. Then it was off to Granite Falls for our second parade of the day. It was 74 miles between Pipestone and Granite Falls. We made it in pleanty of time. Now that parade was long and hot! We got home and were exhausted. After church today we went to the nursing home to see Wally then off to my aunt and uncle's. House. Their farm was celebrating the century farm status. That was lots of fun. When we got home there was time to weed gardens. I also dud some planning for Kruse a palooza. Now the weekend is coming to an end. Why dies it go so fast?

You know, there is nothing like sitting around the fire pit with a glass of wine and friends. Last night was awesome. It really resets your mindset. I feel refreshed again. We need to do this more often. Life is so busy that we need to take time to relax and just enjoy life. My work week is filled with stress and a very busy schedule. It is so nice to have time on weekends to rest and relax. The next 2 weekends are going to be busy with community band - concerts and parades. I do like community band. I have made so many good friends in band. And there is nothing like making music!!!!! But I find that the busier I am - especially on weekends - the more my depression creeps into my mood. I need that R & R time to refresh. anyway, today should be another good day. If it doesn't rain, I plan to be in the flower garden weeding and mulching. For me that is wonderful therapy. And I really feel like I have accomplished something when I am done.

Another insomnia type night. As usual I slept very well until around 3 a.m. then I was wide awake. I don't really know what was bothering me this time. Maybe my body is just getting used to being wide awake at 3. Anyway, now the sun is up and the birds are singing. It would be a wonderful morning to take my cup of coffee and enjoy it out on the patio. That is not going to happen today though. I need to get to work in a few minutes. My Saturday to wok. I just have to remember the 4 year plan. I hope that I can make the plan work!

Another wonderful weekend - or at least the beginning of one. We had an early supper with friends and then home to a glass if wine sitting by the fidelity. It is so peaceful sitting out here. There are birds still chirping, the sunset is beautiful and the fire is calming. It sure does help to get rid of the stress of a crazy busy week.

The past two weekends have been wonderful. Time with family and friends. Celebrating with one side of the family for a big birthday party. It was so nice to sit and relax and visit with everyone. Then celebrating a graduation on the other side. Again, time to relax and get caught up on things with family. I got lots of grandma time as well. It was wonderful! My soulwas refreshed and recharged.

Well, this is the one year anniversary of my weight loss journey. It has been a very successful journey. So far I have lost 60 plus pounds. I have gone down at least 4 dress sizes! I am so happy!!!! I would like to lose a couple more just because I know I will slip up a few times during the summer. I have had a couple of people ask me if I had lost weight because of health reasons. Nope. Just want to be healthier. I have to admit that it is fun getting some new clothes. Clothes that fit! I need to get more clothes that fit, but I cant afford it right now. A little at a time.

Well it has been about a month since my last post.I did that on purpose for 2 reasons. First, I wanted to give myself some time. I feel like the only time I post is when the depression floods over me. I need to get away from that. I need to start posting more positive stuff. A lot has happened though. Concerning my last post anyway. I felt like it was God telling me I need to make some changes in my life. At the same time a friend of mine posted some that really hit me hard. I am convinced it was also God telling me something. I need to just take a leap of faith. I am usually such a planner. This is goi to be very hard for me, but I am going to do it. I am not sure what the right time for thus will be, but I will pick the perfect time. Oh and the second reason it has been awhile since I posted is that our computer died. We should be getting our new one any day. Then we have to have the computer guy try to get the information off of our old computer and transverse to the new one. It is harder to post using my kindle so I like to do it on the computer if I can. Anyway, I want to try to keep things positive going forward.

Well, it has been a heck of a week - and not in a good way. I learner some things about myself that I don't like. Well, I guess I learned that a couple of other people don't feel I am as good at something as I thought I was. It makes feel very bad. I am not only only a perfectionists, I am also a people pleased. That combination makes for a very stressful life I guess. It is very hard to hear that people don't think of you as you thought they did. I guess I need to look at it as a waker upper! I just need to figure out how to change the situation. Not as easy as it sounds. What to do - what to do?

Whew - okay. It has been a good couple of days. I have been able to sleep all night - well with a couple of times to pee. I haven't had to try to sleep on the couch or in my chair or anything though. I feel good today. this morning the birds were chirping and the sun was shining when I woke up. It was a good day at work as well. Tonight we went out for supper. It was delicious!!!! And now we may even light the fire pit. I don't know how long I would be able to stay awake out there. I have a lot more catching up to do in the sleep department. I also need to get going on laundry and cleaning because I have to work in the morning.

You know, I just read my last couple of posts. I maybe should not have used the term demons. Sometimes it feels like my brain is out of control, but demons my be too strong of a term. I feel better today. I was able to work through some of the issues that were controlling. My every thought. Sometimes I just can't handle some of the stress in my life. But I feel much better now. I may even be able to sleep to tonight! Prayers answered! Thank you God!

Well, for most of the day today the demons ruled. I had a difficult time in church and after church. I did a lot of putzing this afternoon so I had my thoughts to myself. That was not good. My brain - once again - would not shut down! Ughhhhhhhh!!! then I decided to watch a movie on the Halmark channel. I really think God was answering my prayers for peace with that movie. I feel much better right now. it is still going to be a rough night - again! But after tomorrow, I think things will be better. I am praying for that anyway!

Oh my gosh! The demons are back and back with a vengence! I am in melt down mode. I can't control my emotions right now. I am shaking. I can't sit still. My brain will not stop. I thought maybe being by myself this morning while I was cleaning and doing laundry would help. Not only did it not help, I think it made it worse. AAHHH!!! Then Travis came over with the grandkids. Finally, some relief. Just having them around and interacting with them helped. It is amazing what your grandchildren can do for you. They are gone now and the feelings have crept back in. I am trying to keep really busy so I don't think about things. I will have to take sleeping pills again tonight just so I can sleep. that will be the 3rd night in a row. I hate taking them, but sometimes it is the only way to get relief. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I hate these anxiety attacks!!!! they are terrible. I keep praying for peace to come over me. I hope it comes soon . . . . . .

Well, it took me a few days to completely recover from that anxiety attack, but I am back to normal now. What I consider normal anyway. Easter was pretty uneventful around here. I had my family over for lunch after church. That went fairly well. Then we all went out to my sister and brother-in-laws for the Kruse side. It was nice to see everyone. I haven't seen some of them since Christmas. Work is the same - stressful! That is nothing new. It is just a matter of how well I can emotionally handle it. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. I can just shrug it off. Other times I come home so worked up I have trouble sleeping at night. I got away from work for a little bit today. My "new to me" vehicle had been leaking antifreeze. It is still new enough that the dealer I bought it from had a waranty on it. Anyway, I brought called an made an appointment to bring it in this morning. It was the water pump. Even though I wasted some time this morning, it was nice to get away from work for a couple of hours. The next big thing on the list is Memorial Day. A nice day off. We have a couple of graduations to go to, but it will be nice. Maybe even have a few people over for a BBQ!

I guess I am having an anxiety attack again. I really really hate this feeling. I can't think, I can't sit still, I can't rationalize, and I am having trouble even making simple decisions. How do I get past this one? There wasn't any one thing that happened this weekend, but I am filled with anxiety and depression. One minute I want to cry and curl up on the couch and the next minute I can't sit in a chair. I haven't had one of these "episodes" for quite awhile. I thought I was past it. And then it comes roaring back! Okay, so part of this comes from my intense desire to please everyone - family, friends, co-workers - everyone. I am trying to get everyone on my side together for Easter (cuz we all know that Easter is my holiday). We can't seem to find a day and time to work for everyone. I think I am just going to have to make the call on when to have it and someone is going to be unhappy. Another part of this could be that it is Sunday and the feeling of dread always floods over me on Sundays. I don't know, I just don't know. My brain is fuzzy and black. I need to do something or talk to someone. I just don't know . . . . . . .

All I can say is WOW! We have had fantastic weather the past week. The snow is gone and the temps have been in the high 60's to low 70's. Today it was even up to 78! Sat outside in the sun watching the Twin's game. I think I absorbed my share of vitamin D! Then we went for a walk for about an hour. How great is that in March!! We have been grilling supper every night this week when we were home. Tonight we plan on grilling too. Double bonus is that we got to see Denver, Danielle and Kellen yesterday. Kellen is growing up so fast. He is crawling all over the place. Now I better go get my stuff ready to go to work tomorrow. :( Oh well! today I am grateful to live in Minnesota in the spring. It is so awesome!

Oh, this is my favorite time of day . . . . 6:15 am. I am done with my morning workout at the wellness center, showered, have a cup of coffee in my hand and checking my emails and facebook. Because the house is quiet, I have time to think and get ready for my day. Some people are not morning people, but I guess I am. I get a lot done before I go to work in the morning. When I get home from work, I need to get supper going, get dishes done and the house cleaned up. By then I am tired and love to sit in my chair where I fall asleep around 9:30. Today I am greatful to be a morning person.

It has been a week of progress - many kinds of progress. First, the federal tax forms are done and printed off. Just need to get the state forms done and they are not nearly as confusing as the federal forms. Next, I got the sewing room all cleaned up. That was huge job!!! It is now ready for photographs to be taken for Lauren's 4-H project. I got all the rest of my little house clean-up jobs done this weekend as well. The best progress has been with my car! Thursday night we got the Impala traded off and got an Acadia. It is not new, but 6 years newer than the Impala. It is really nice! So far I love it! I think I also made some emotional/mental progress. I spent yesterday watching a marathon of "Good Witch" movies on the Halmark channel as I was scuttling about the house doing my cleaning and laundry. I was greatly impacted by some things in those movies. The first thing is that no matter what happens, Cassie always see the good side of it. The "silver lining of every cloud". She never lets the bad things in her life bring her down. Her theory is - you are always right where you are ment to be and she makes the best of it. The other thing that impacted me even more was her attitude about how people treat her. She never gets mad or feels bad. She always turns these people around and makes them feel bad that they treated her the way they did. She helps them feel good about themselves. I am going to try very hard to learn a lesson from this. After the movies, I sort of took inventory on some of the things that have happened in my life and how I reacted to them and how I have reacted to some of the people in my life. It made me very sad to think that I am a Christian and have reacted to those things the way I have. I need to have a clean heart and stop holding on to some of the dark clouds that I have hung on to. I know it will not be easy, but I am going to do this! I know I will be a much happier person if I can succeed. Today I am grateful that God gave me these wonderful movies to clean my heart!

Good news, I finally got through the tax forms. Well, the federal taxes anyway. I have them figured out, but have not done the final draft that gets sent in. Holy Cow! The one little act of selling 12 feet of property added 4 additional pages to our taxes! So confusing. I am glad I am not a tax accountant. I am not in a hurry to finish them now that I know we are going to owe a little bit. I will finish them this weekend and then wait to send them in until April. I do need to get the computer room cleaned up and re-organized though. Lauren is in 4-H now and she wants me to help her do a sewing project for the fair. We are going to do a pillowcase. She has the fabric picked out and so far we have learned how to press the fabric flat so that when you cut with a rotary cutter, it doesn't get lumpy and lose the straight of grain. Next will be learning to use the rotary cutter and acrylic ruler. She is so excited. It was Denver's birthday recently so we (Leon and I and both kids and their families)all met at Brau Brothers in Marshall Saturday night. It was so fun. The food was delicious and the beer was great. Even the kids had fun! I just love it when we can all get together. I also think I found my next car. After weeks of searching I think we have it. I will know for sure on Thursday. I have to get the financing in place and the dealership is checking out the car, then it is ours. I am excited!

Well, I had a very nice 4 day weekend. I took last Friday off. I painted the dining room. It has been several years since it had been painted so I decided it was time. when I was done, the dining room looked good, but I should have done the ceiling. Now, it is going to be hard to do the ceiling. I am probably going to have to do major touch ups on the walls when I am done with the ceiling. then Monday was Presidents Day so the bank was closed. Deb and I decided to shopping. I needed some new clothes as I cleaned out my closet and gave a bunch to Goodwill. Penney's had some really good sales. We had a great time. Then it was back to reality today - work. Okay, yes, I have started on our taxes. It would be so simple if we had not sold part of our lot. We sold the neighbors 12 feet of the south part of our lot. That one act has created havoc with our taxes. It may take me several weeks to finish all the forms. Either that or I am going to have to take them to someone to be done. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. Tonight I started a "Full Body Bootcamp". It was only 30 minutes, but quite a workout! Looking forward our next one on Thursday (twice a week for 8 weeks. I am hoping I can lose a few pounds doing this Bootcamp. Last time I did this, I rationalized that because I was working out, I could eat more. Ya, that isn't a good idea. It doesn't work that way.

What a great weekend! Saturday Denver and his family came for a visit. That was so nice. I haven't seen them for a month or so. The baby is growing so fast! He will be crawling by the next time we see him. He is such a happy baby!!!! then yesterday we had some icey weather. We slipped and slid to church. Then we had our annual baked potato dinner at church. I helped with the first shift so I could sit and eat with the rest of the family! That was nice. Then I was pretty much a slug the rest of the day. It was very nice and relaxing! A good way to prepare for a busy week at work. I should have been working on tazes, but I opted not to. Tonight we are supposed to get more freezing rain. Yuck! Tonight I am grateful live in the same time that I work!

A pretty ordinary week so far. We did not find a different car last Saturday, so I am still driving the old Impala. No big deal as I usually just drive it to work (8 blocks) and back. If I were driving it a lot further every day it might be a bigger worry for me. We will keep looking. when we have free time (and that doesn't happen very often) we will drive thru some car lots and looking at their websites on the internet. It is February now, so I guess it is time to get going on the taxes. I really need to start getting organized with that. It may be a little more complicated this year as we sold a little bit of the south part of our lot to the neighbors so they could build on to their house. Because of that we have to file a "schedule D" I believe and that is not something I am familiar with. I am so glad we are just a few weeks from Spring arriving. We have had a nice winter for the most part, but I am ready for warm weather and sunshine. I am anxious to start planning the garden. This winter we have enjoyed lots of garden produce that we froze or canned last fall. We sill have a lot left so that will hopefully carry us through the summer until we harvest again in this fall. It is a lot of work to can all of the veggies, but so nice to have during the winter. Today I am grateful for all the canned produce from last fall! Well, off to work!

Another week has come and gone. I did get a lot accomplished though. Thursday - the day I dreaded - is past! It went better than I expected though. I had to travel 3 hours each way to one of our other offices, but the weather was good and it was a good experience. Now I need to catch up on things at work after being out for a whole day. It always takes me a week to catch up on things. You know, nobody does my work for me when I am out of the office, I just have to fit it in and catch up when I get back. today might be a fun day. We are going to go car shopping. My 2005 Impala is starting to have problems. We will see what we can find!

The tears are flowing as I write this tonight. Yes, part of it is because I just watched a sappy Halmark movie. And yes, part of it is because I am a little over tired. We kept the 3 grandchildren overnight last night. They were very good, but sometimes I get a little wore out. The 2 year old threw up after supper so I was a little worried about her. But I believe the biggest reason the tears are flowing is because it is Sunday night. I am sad that the weekend is over, and I am sad that I have to go to work tomorrow. Some weeks are better than others, and this week is going to be a hard one. I know, I know I should not wish my life away, but I will be happy when Thursday is over. Back to the weekend - it was such as nice weekend. The weather was fabulous, I got a lot done around the house, and it was great to have the kids around. I don't have a lot of weekends that I get to spend time at home. I must be weird, but I crave my time at home. I feel warm and safe and comforted at home. Am I agoraphobic? Well, maybe a little. Tonight I am grateful for my cozy little house.

I am moving a little slow today. I spent Sunday afternoon painting our master bath. We got the shower door replaced (it was leaking) and the adjoining wall has been replaced. so now it needed to be painted. It took me 30 minutes to unload all the stuff in bathroom. Get the stuff off the wall etc. It took 2 hours to do all the "cutting in". Then it took an hour to actually get the roller going and finish painting. That wasn't so bad. Yesterday, Monday was a holiday so I didn't have to work. I spent the entire day painting our bedroom. Again it took an hour move furniture, get stuff off the wall, etc. Then it took almost 3 hours to do the cutting in and another 2 hours to do the rolling. I was exhausted last night, but it was a good feeling to get it done! I guess I am just getting to old to do this stuff. Even worse, I was so stiff this morning! I had a hard time getting out of bed. Now today was the day after a Monday holiday. Those days are always crazy busy! And today was no exception. It was wild!!! A lot of off the wall stuff. Tonight my brain hurts. I have a feeling I won't sleep well. All of the events of the day will continue to go through my head all night long. That happens so often. If I have a really stressful day, I don't sleep very well. Anyway, today I am thankful for a clean freshly painted bathroom and bedroom. Next will be the dining room!

It has been a very busy couple of days. My brother from Las Vegas flew in with his "significant other". She is very nice. But she is from Guatamala. they thought about moving back to Minnesota to be close to family. Kelly is kind of homesick. The cold Minnesota weather was a little too much for her though. I think that being here the past few days changed her mind. I tried to do stuff with them, but I had a lot of other things I had to tend to. I felt really bad. But they spent time with my Mom and went out to the farm where my brother has a huge milking setup. So it isn't that they were just sitting around doing nothing. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. It is warming up a bit this week. The high by Saturday will be 30! It's a tropical heatwaive! It is a really good thing as I have a lot to do. Today I am grateful for new relationships. I love meeting new people and making new friends.

All I can say is brrrrrrrrrrr. The temp is supposed to be down in the -20 range with wind chills that should be around -35 to -40 by morning. I don't think I am going to go work out in the morning. I will just work out here at home. I will find something to do around here that gives me a workout. With all the flu and cold bugs going around, I don't want to wear myself down by being out in that much cold any more than I have to. As for tonight, I am back in my sewing room where it is warm and comforting. On another note, I was worried about how much weight I would gain over the holidays. I was thrilled that I only gained 2 pounds. Today I weighed myself and I was able to lose those 2 pounds again. So now it is back to work on the rest of the weight loss. I have 2 1/2 pounds more to lose to reach my goal. these last few pounds have been so difficult to take off. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I may not be getting quite enough activity in. I try to work out 3 or 4 times a week, but with it being so cold, I have a hard time making myself get going at 5 a.m. I just have to force myself do more at home then. Today I am grateful for my weight loss. It has been a long haul, but I am healthier.

And the winter weather continues! It is snowing right now. We are supposed to get about 5 inches. Then the wind is going to come up and stay cold. I thought maybe we would have some overnight guests. Some of the people at the shop live out of town so Leon invited them to stay if they couldn't get home. They all left work early though, so they made it home. The nasty weather kept the lobby traffic down to a minimum for me. It let me start to get caught up. I am so far behind right now! Now if the rest of the week could stay slow like this, I might get completely caught up. I have a small block of time to get things done before IRA season ramps up. My sewing machine and I are also getting to know each better again. The "therapy" time I have with my sewing machine is very relaxing. I am trying to create a crazy quilt and it is taking more time than I thought. I have such a huge amount of scraps that need to get used though. I love being in my sewing room. Just me and my sewing machine (and the TV of course). No stress!!!!!! Love it!!!! So today I am grateful for a box of fabric scraps! It keeps me relaxed.

Today is a day of winter weather. We started the day sunny and about 29 degrees. We washed the car and ran a bunch of errands. The clouds slowly moved in, the winds are coming up and the temps have dropped. Right now it is pretty blustery out there. I am glad I didn't have anyplace to go tonight. It is so nice to be cocooned up here in the house. I got a lot of cleaning done as well as laundry and a few tasks I have been putting off. Right now I am in my sewing room. I have a huge box of fabric scaps and I am sorting them into piles to make quilts. It feels so good. So today I am grateful for winter weather. It not only helps me get a lot done around the house, but when spring comes, it helps me appreciate the warmth and new life that spring represents.

It is New Years Day 2015 and my goal for 2015 is to resume my gratitude journal. I already know that some of my depression (perhaps an undiagnosed bipolar condition) will sneak into these posts, but I feel like that may be okay. In order to be grateful for things, I need to recognize what is making me depressed. Today I am grateful for 2014. It was a year of good health - both mine and my family's. We are very blessed to have a year with no serious health conditions. both Leon and I have had co-workers with serious health conditions that they are dealing with. I have a co-worker whose husband was diagnosed with multiple myloma in 2012. He went through a bone marrow transplant as well as chemo. He was pretty healthy in 2014, but now is facing a possible recurrance of this terrible disease. They will be doing some testing in the next few weeks. My prayers go out to them for good news from the doctors. Leon also has a coworker facing serious health issues. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. He went through surgeries and treatment and thought he had it under control. In the last 6 months the cancer has come back with a vengence. He is young with 3 young children. He is under hospice care. We are praying for a miracle! We have many, many other community people who have or died from very serious health conditions. So, today I am eternally grateful to God for the good health in our family. You just never know when something can happen!